My life is like a movie

You’re life sounds like a movie.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, well I wouldn’t be rich, but I would definitely get extra incentive to think I am being watched. 😀 No, it’s because of the stories I tell. When I was younger I used to make them up, not I just live them (guess I ran out of imagination). I know what you’re thinking, someone should be paying me, but not to worry, that day will come, my friend!

Most of the times I write about myself, but sometimes I describe other characters in a silly way meant to make people smile. That reminds me I should thank again to all my tinder dates who participated in my experiments just to entertain my readers. Well, also to get some – which didn’t really happened as expected… (sad face). There were some people who unfriended me, but hey, if you don’t get my humor, our friendship it’s doomed at my first joke anyway. Therefore, I hope today’s character won’t take it very personally. He actually asked me not to write about him, so I will make it again just about me.

He’s a guy I went on a date with recently. Well, actually there were three dates in one day. I know, right?!! Damn, I am kinda proud of this too. It’s been ages since I got to the second date. So, are you ready to read the script for the next Dafta movie?

It was a Wednesday, January night, almost as dark as this one, but with a less entertained me, so… as any unemployed, single slash hot and pretentious modern girl, I went on the App Store. That’s right. Tinder popped out yelling hard “You, quitter!”. Can’t lie to you, it made me think twice about my adventures there… but how can I go back? I said I won’t do it again – too much history repeating – every time the same shit: “You look hot, I wonder if you’re smart” and then he goes: “Of course my darling, I can be anything you want!”. Bah. Booooooring! next!

So, I didn’t reinstall or create a Tinder profile (for the 7th this time), but then I did remember a friend telling me about this other app which is really accurate and serious: Ok, Cupid! Let’s see what you got.

OkCupid is a dating app which uses “math to find you dates”. So just like other 1M “magic algorithms” that find people I will “actually like”. Haha, so funny. I thought I was the only girl creating a profile that night, but over one million people install it per week. There are 7.3M messages per day and I got 47 guys texting me in less than 24 hours with at least 2 lines of text – that means I contributed…Umm, just about x% to that achievement, Ok Cupid?

“Making the ineffable totally eff-able

When it comes down to it, there are 3 principles that make OkCupid the best dating site on Earth: our love of math, we’re always free, and everyone’s welcome.”

Math, freedom, and…welcomes? Doesn’t make any sense, but I love math. So, back to my experience. I was surfing and could see guys who were online, guys who recently joined or guys who were checking me out – which I don’t appreciate! I mean, I know they are doing it, I don’t need the confirmation of that, ok? (oh, look at that: I grew up!). Then you could just text everyone you want – the match thing is just for this cupid to remind you that this is all a game which you’re playing with real people. Sick! Oh, but the best part of this dating app is the matching percentage. After answering a bunch of questions about yourself, your future relationship and the rest of your ideal daily life, you can see who do you match with from 0 to 100%. I checked out all the guys and the maximum I got was a 78%, which I would say it’s ok for 3 pictures and checking some boxes. The algorithm is using the answers I checked for “him” because every question has the option of your answer but also what you would like your match to answer. In other words, you build your date/SO just like tomorrow’s office look.

I realize now that I developed an interest in exploring this kind of apps; think I should add it as a hobby in my CV? Don’t think I have room for that so I will just increase my level at UX 😉

So, while I was exploring the profiles of those I got high match percentages, guess what? Most of them were fat, ugly or Muslim. I mean seriously?!! What kind of questions did I answer and how come this “Match in the name of love” algorithm can’t tell I fall for hot-fit-agnostic ones? Oh, funny thing: I got a message from a guy I met on Tinder 2 years ago, emphasizing on our situation. Then we did some catch-up, and I have to say that I was a bit jealous when I heard that meanwhile he even had a relationship, broke up and got back on dating apps. Tsk, tsk. Made me wonder: what did I do the past 2 years?? Oh, yeah, that MSc thing, CBS, Australia and the whole contemplation on my life.

But hey, enough with the details, and let’s go back to my date. I liked his profile, don’t remember why, but I just got this feeling it’s a perfect written one and it had such great impact on me I had listened to this guy over and over again. First, when he suggested we should have a date on Skype. Second, when at the second date he made me listen to music so I would just read his lips, and last when I deleted my profile right after our third date – just like he implied I would do. Smart, right? Well, I only date smart guys – unless they are hot and funny. 😀 This guy was 70% perfect for me (according to OkCupid). Too bad I wasn’t (I couldn’t read his lips right when he said he wants to dance with me and I thought he was proposing. Ooopsie).

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How did I plan my future.

I was always concerned about my future. Well, I had to. Having a little brother to inspire and a very generous family to make them proud, helped a lot. It was 2 years before I went to high school when my father told me we should talk:

– Have you thought about which high school you wanna graduate from?

– Uhm…not really.

– Well, it is very important that you know what you want and start working for it. It won’t be easy to get accepted to a good school and you need to start thinking about your future.

– I think I wanna be a writer.

– A writer? That’s not gonna bring you wealth easily…but if you ask me, I think you should go for economics. That’s the future of this country.

Four years later, I was half way done with the Economical College (high-school), when my father asked me again about my future. I could not see myself doing Debits and Credits for the rest of my life so I told him I wanna become a journalist.

– Are you sure? You could have a pretty good salary working in a bank and you are good at it.

– No, dad, is just not me. I wanna study Communication Sciences and I wanna go live in the biggest city in Romania (Bucharest).

– Well, you can study Journalism, but I would suggest a closer city (Cluj-Napoca). It’s for the best…

Five years later I got all my family coming down to the second biggest city in Romania to celebrate my Bachelor Degree in Journalism.

I got my first job after high-school and I basically support myself ever since. Not because I didn’t get money from my parents, but because I wanted to be a strong independent woman. I never wanted to disappoint them, but in order to make some decisions of my own, I had to prove I am responsible enough. And guess what? 🙂

I always wanted to study abroad, so after 5 years of my education in Romania, I started another round of studies.

Although a million things have changed since I was a little girl, my father still asks me about my future every time we talk. Last week I told him I plan to become a Senator in Romania. Not that I have any idea how am I gonna do it, but at least I know it makes him happy.

 

 

Happy New Year, Netflix and Chill!

I’m 12 days late. Well, not that kind of late cause I didn’t do it… mostly because one of my friends wished me to get pregnant this year and I got really paranoid about it. I said to her “wish that to yourself, [bitch] I am still young and have lots of things to do before splitting my molecules into another human being aka huge responsibility!”. I mean, I just graduated… I need to try the adult life a bit. All those stories 9 to 5 people told me, like how tired they are and their stupid gorgeous bosses… I want to see if they’re real. 😀 Oh, and I am not sure who I want the father of my child to be just yet. My astrologist says I have some problems in that area. I want to spend the rest of my life with only one guy, but there are too many men out there worth loving. Apparently, I was born under Venus’ watch and that messes up all my relationships.

So, I am here to wish you all a happy new year and that whatever you love may come true and stick around. I know that’s what I want :P. Oh, and stop complaining about your jobs, you can always choose to pass them off (or to others; like me). I am ready to go back to work this year, have awesome colleagues and a super cute, sweet, smart boss ^^.

Another wish I have for you is Netflix and Chill! It’s all inclusive: entertainment, meditation, information, education, company, distractions etc., (Downside/Upside: you have to order pizza).

Oh, and no more dating apps. Unless you know what you want and you know it’s there. 😉

Xoxo

PS: Would you read my book if I write it?? ↓↓↓

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So… I graduated (again).

July 2007 – January 2017. It looks like it took me a little longer than I expected, but hey, I graduated! Of 10 years, 5 Universities, 3 countries and 10 different rooms I had to share with other students or strangers. Tons of papers to read and so many courses I have no idea when they will use me or how. Ask me about some and I’ll probably won’t remember a thing. That’s how you get when you study too much. Burned out. So, now what?

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A real job. Adulthood. Taxes. Loans. Debts. Long term plans. Responsibilities. A stable home. A husband? Hah. I should be able to get all of these with my degrees, right? 😀 It’s like getting out of High School again and I have no idea what I am gonna do with my life. But this time I won’t go to college. I am gonna try the real world.
So wish me luck!

a 10 minute feature

“You are too old for me. I mean don’t get me wrong, I have always been sexually attracted to you, but I don’t think I can live up to your expectations.”
That’s what he told me last night. At 2 am while I was busy feeling good and getting enough attention, he came by my table to have a little chat.

 Okay…
We met 2 years ago. I always thought he was cute, but with a very young taste – somewhere around 22 years old – that never got us in the same circle. He’s a heartbreaker with a broken heart. So I asked him about sex and expectations – because that’s my way of being diplomatic these days. No, seriously, I am not even sarcastic. Surprisingly, even though we thought it’s only chemistry, there are actually some things we have in common. Like our small brown eyes that love to stare in other irises and our favorite sex position. But that’s about it.

After I elegantly took his unexpected, unwanted and unasked-for rejection, he asked me to dance. That never happen. We could have kissed, but then again he was rude, arrogant and drunk. And I am too old for him.

XoXo

PS: this is just because he always wanted me to write about him 😉

“What Would Vio Do?”

I’m doing ok. Planning a winter trip to Bali, with Ryan. Backpacking style. Want to hit up temples, do some meditating and reset overall. It’s considered the world’s purification spot… i’m hoping i’ll return renewed and grounded. I need some chill and drive. I want to return with a clearer head. I’m hopefully going to start an internship when i get back, and hit the job market by next summer or fall. Exciting and terrifying at the same time. What are u up to these days? What’s difficult to overcome? I’ve always felt i could play the “what would Vio do?”, i feel like you always seem to find the answers to what can help you grow. I think our biggest fear becomes the constraint of a boring repetitive job, one that stagnates our accumulation of knowledge. Then again, continuing to float around in endless degrees and post graduates only pushes that back… i’ve gotten so comfortable looking forward to being nursed by profs and curricula, that now i dread the day when i have to be a 9-5er. I might visit Europe in the summer, i’m looking into potentially moving to Berlin, but i want to see it first, and get a sense of it, before i dive in. People keep scaring me about Germany and how dismissive they are of outsiders, so i don’t know if i’d be willing to go through it again. And don’t say ‘come here’, i like the sun! Hahaha

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 I like the sun too, babe! ❤

Brain Coupling

This is one of many delicious espresso philosophical shots I get daily from my favourite futurist and media artist, Jason Silva. He’s one incurable romantic who seems to understands all my questions about human behaviourism. After my intense experience in Australia, I got this crazy idea of making an experiment and research on people who connect in-depth to see if their brains can resonate in the same time. And guess what? they do.
A researcher did this empirical study and called it “brain coupling”. What he did was to take romantic couples, best friends or people who speak each other’s languages and took some FMRI scans (Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) on their brains. He found out these people’s brains were actually synchronizing.
So now, I know that when I meet that special someone and he comes into my life and smiles just in the right way, and I get the goose bumps from staring at the iris of the lover’s eye, I know that our brain waves are literally in sync. And so this is what we should look for when we connect with anybody. You wanna be like “Hey, you wanna brain couple with me? You wanna sit and talk and get naked in body in mind and couple our brain waves together? Because that’s what I am interested in. Skip the small talk and go straight to that inner subjective rapture. Let’s become one thing.”
Because that’s brain coupling.
Jason “Sexy” Silva
This entry was posted on October 10, 2016, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment