Brain Coupling

This is one of many delicious espresso philosophical shots I get daily from my favourite futurist and media artist, Jason Silva. He’s one incurable romantic who seems to understands all my questions about human behaviourism. After my intense experience in Australia, I got this crazy idea of making an experiment and research on people who connect in-depth to see if their brains can resonate in the same time. And guess what? they do.
A researcher did this empirical study and called it “brain coupling”. What he did was to take romantic couples, best friends or people who speak each other’s languages and took some FMRI scans (Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) on their brains. He found out these people’s brains were actually synchronizing.
So now, I know that when I meet that special someone and he comes into my life and smiles just in the right way, and I get the goose bumps from staring at the iris of the lover’s eye, I know that our brain waves are literally in sync. And so this is what we should look for when we connect with anybody. You wanna be like “Hey, you wanna brain couple with me? You wanna sit and talk and get naked in body in mind and couple our brain waves together? Because that’s what I am interested in. Skip the small talk and go straight to that inner subjective rapture. Let’s become one thing.”
Because that’s brain coupling.
Jason “Sexy” Silva
This entry was posted on October 10, 2016, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Coffee Meets Bagel

It’s a cold night in Denmark. You’re single, tired of watching Netflix alone and wish you could have someone who you could just cuddle with. So where are you going? Shopping. To the app store. Entertainment category. Tinder comes up first. But you don’t want a one night stand. Happn is too creepy, OkCupid takes too much time, Bumble is full of cute, smart but insecure guys and the rest of them…well, you don’t wanna be that desperate. But hey what about Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB)?
CMB was founded by 3 sisters, 30+yo on Valentine’s Day in 2012 (though Wikipedia says it was on my birthday). These 3 females/feminists are confident that their app is the best dating app for women. So called “Anti-Tinder”, CMB names its users ‘bagels’ (I’m not sure if only the guys are bagels or girls too?) and here is how it works: you log in with Facebook, answer to a few questions about yourself including what you expect from your date, then you get daily (at noon) 21 ‘bagels’ who are supposed to be suitable for you. Also you get coffee beans for liking people, playing games and other quizzes, which you can use as the currency for buying extra bagels or to send them to your friends. Convinced yet? Okay… But heads up: single, smart, busy men are not hot, not on this app. Or at least not in the first ‘order’ day and not for sophisticated, high-maintenance women. 🙈


After 10 minutes you realise you basically cannot even swipe right once. You get 21 ‘bagels’ (gosh, how can one be attracted to someone who’s so highly objectified?! 😛 ) for 24 hours and keep thinking who to chose. But eventually you pick the 35yo engineer guy who looks a bit too serious and old for your taste, but hey, you’re curious about his PhD in solar energy and he looked nice in one picture – which was probably taken 3 years ago on some happy holiday. Oh what a surprise, you match! CMB sends you notifications on what to ask him. You only know the bagel’s name after you match. Everyone is just a bagel until they…eat each other?



The app’s algorithm tells you to ask the Bagel about the last book he bought. You do it. The bagel makes you wait. Overthinking mood on: “double check my photos, am I probably too superficial to him? I am way hotter so he must’ve think that there is no point of this anyway. Or maybe he’s at some dinner. Or he’s already sleeping. He seems the kind of guy who goes to bed early.”



So what do you do? you poor yourself a glass of wine, install Bumble, swipe a few times right, get some matches, text 3 of them and even start a conversation with one. Bagel keeps you waiting, but who has time for that at the end of autumn 2016?! You text Bagel that you’re not here for random chatting, small talk and meeting tons of people. You have been here for 20 hours and it was enough to tell it’s a waste of time for you, but if he wants to text sometime and see if is there any connection, you can give him your phone number. If not, best of luck amigo! Bagel answers you after you already got two dates on Bumble and he sounds like writing an email:



“I like the honesty. I am not a fan of chatting too much here neither. I prefer to meet and see how it goes face to face. We can meet one day, have a coffee without making a big deal out of it and see. This Sunday morning would work for me. Please let me know what suits you.”



This Bagel obviously hasn’t been on the dating apps too much. But at this point you are super happy about this Bumble guy who cannot shut up and makes you smile so you don’t wanna be too mean to Bagel (even though he deserves more of your honesty). Tell him that ignoring your offering of your phone number was a turn off and Sunday morning is definitely reserved for a special guy who can make you fall in love on a perfect Sunday morning. Anyway, it’s late, winter is coming and nobody asked you for dating counselling. Though they should, cause that’s something dating apps made you good at.



Apparently Coffee Meets Bagel made more than 2.5 billion introductions and created more than 50,000 happy couples. Called LadiesChoice because it’s the app with more women users than men (60/40 ratio). Also, one of the co-founders found her boyfriend on CMB when her sister sent the right bagel to her. Are you a coffee who needs bagels?
“Coffee Meets Bagel wants to be the place to find love, not hook-ups.” (TechCrunch, 2016)

Falling in love (Master Thesis)



When I left Australia I knew I will go back someday and that’s because I fell in love. Some people say I fall in love every day with something or someone, but the way I did it in Australia was absolutely amazing. My experience there reinstalled my belief that I am able to feel things I thought there are only for the fortunate ones. Unfortunately, now I have plenty of unanswered questions about this newly rediscovered phenomenon called “love”. This article aims to answer a few of them.


[Literature review]


Aron et al. (1997) have made this practical experiment to create closeness between individuals under controlled conditions and illustrated its applicability for testing theoretical issues. The idea behind was to structure self-disclosure between strangers in  only 45 minutes. However, being inspired by the “acquaintance paradigm” of Collins and Miller (1994), the study was meant to develop a temporary feeling of closeness, not an actual going relationship. Closeness is defined as “including other in the self” by Aron et al. (1992) and similar to what researchers call intimacy. “Intimacy is a process in which each feels his or her innermost self validated, understood, and cared for by the other” (Reis & Shaver, 1988). But as you probably agree, there are plenty of other definitions to words like these.


Furthermore, to have a better understanding of the closeness study, I will use the more popular and modern love essay written by Mandy Len Catron (2015) called “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This”. She calls the closeness study a success of making two strangers fall in love in the laboratory and demonstrates it with her own. Her experiment was quite like mine in Australia:  I went there to fall in love, but when four months had past and the only one I could feel some kind of closeness was my unattractive roomie, I gave up on men. I was like “damn it, I am incapable of feeling and maybe I will actually ending up marring a friend and not a lover like my roomie”.




In June I went to see Uluru, the biggest rock in the world. [😃 Sorry, is just I cannot smiling whenever I start this story…] The night before I had a date with a guy that looked just like prince William (for real). Let me explain the correlation. When I saw their picture (Figure 1) in 2014 I just knew I wanna go there. I had no idea why, but I really wanted a picture like that. Additionally, the photo has history (figure 2).


Fig 1


Fig 2


The day before my trip I went shopping for a similar royal dress. All I could find was one with bears and I didn’t fall with my date William, nor did I take him with me.


My trip to Uluru was planned long time before I arrived to Australia, but I didn’t know it until I left there. It was a rainy day and I was one of the 2% lucky tourists to be there when it rains. 3 hours after my arrival I freaked out. The sun was up, I checked everything out but what in the God’s name was I doing there all by myself? It was the first time I went somewhere completely alone without any plans. I think it was minutes later I heard his voice. It wasn’t God, it was the guy that now is part of my “eat, pray, love” story down under.


But let’s go back to Catron. Just like myself before Uluru when I said outloud and very serious that I need my love to eat and pray, Catron needed a man to make the love experiment. They knew each other from university and she chose him after just a “glimpse into his days on Instagram” and a few rounds at the gym (fair enough).


I explained the study to my university acquaintance. A heterosexual man and woman enter the lab through separate doors. They sit face to face and answer a series of increasingly personal questions. Then they stare silently into each other’s eyes for four minutes. The most tantalizing detail: Six months later, two participants were married. They invited the entire lab to the ceremony.
‘let’s try it’, he said


I know, right? this just made you think of that one person you would wanna fall in love with and text them right away. But hold your horses for a second here, will ya?




Just like so many other people I know, Catron turned to science whilst being in the midst of a breakup “hoping there was a way to love smarter”. With an iPhone and 36 questions, these two “acquaintances” fall in love in a bar that night and they are still together.
I didn’t have to ask my guy too many questions. I just got sucked into his ocean blue eyes, his wide and silly smile, and …ok, can you hear my chuckles now? 😃
Catron (2015) brings upfront how everyone has a narrative of themselves that they offer up to strangers, but Dr. Aron’s 36 questions make it impossible to rely on that narrative. She says that when you are young, it feels natural to get to know someone quickly and it rarely happens in the adult life. I would add to this the fact that we know so little about the world as youngsters and too much about ourselves when we grow up. Please feel free to disagree.




Falling in love in a laboratory is definitely less romantic than in the middle of Australia’s red desert under the starry skies. But getting to know someone, evolving, growing in and out of love, being in a relationship and letting someone to know you, well that’s a successful story.
I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face by a short length of rope, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life. I spent the first couple of minutes just trying to breathe properly. There was a lot of nervous smiling until, eventually, we settled in.


You need to trust yourself and go for what you want with all the patience in the world. Staring into someone eyes might make you the most vulnerable you have ever been. Letting someone to get to know you might be dangerous, but seeing someone seeing you increases way more the level of your vulnerability. Now, my Question #37:
Are you willing to fall in love?

kiss me, you fool

How was your first kiss like? not that one where you woke up on the dancing floor with something that felt like a potato in your mouth. The one after a whole day of chuckles, long walks, wondering conversation and wandering in general, your lips finally met and even the time stopped to stare. The first time you actually felt that strange warmth filling your whole body from head to toes and stops in your knees. That’s when you push yourself deeper into each other’s arms, you grab tight on your faces, blend your hands underneath your clothes, play with with your fingers behind ears and curiously open your eyes now and then… (daaamn, Daniel!)

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The world spins, the players stop singing, the sun goes down and you don’t know it yet, but you just got enamored with… most likely the wrongest person. In the earlier days of college you can easily fall in love with someone just because they are not like anybody you’ve met before and that’s enough.

But it’s just downright silly to try and pick a best time to have a kiss like that, don’t you think so? It’s always a good time to meet someone, get to know each other, fell in love and… well kiss the hell out of there! or stay. Try that emotional maturity and sweetness you struggle hiding all the time and go for it. Show some commitment and bravery. Kiss that one, you fool!

Now, that you finally agree one kiss can mean a million things, I invite you to watch these 9 different adorable situations when a kiss makes absolute sense. After that we can talk about eagerness, shyness, jollity, bravery, silliness, awkwardness, kindness, understanding and passion. Ok?


[can’t believe I have to pay to embed a video on WP?!! this is a no go for me]

100 days down under

If there would be a movie about it, the first scene will show my tiny suede moccasins stepping outside the airport, looking up and saying to myself: girl, welcome to your dream!

Today, this girl is leaving her 100th day in Australia. And yes, this girl has a name.😀


I had no plan when I came to Australia. I’ve been planning it so hard, I didn’t even think of a to-do list, but once here, everything fall into place. I started wishing the best things for myself and looking for them. Once found, I just said yes. Same with people, food and experiences. Now, after spending shit loads of money, I feel richer than ever!

I spent my first day in Melbourne in Fitzroy, on Gertrude with Brunswick Street – later I would find out is the place where a wonderful man lives (Felix Riebl). The same man who made me cry in front of thousands of people (literally) the other day.🙂

I was lucky enough to be hosted by the sweetest Aussie couple and in the evening we had barbecue at their friends’ new house.  First day and I was already meeting the locals!

On my second day I was already surfing and making friends from all over the world. We were about 200 exchange students on a beach and I was the only one from Romania. ^^


I slept in four different places in the first week, but then I won the apartments lottery and moved on the 26th floor to the one suburb in Melbourne that intimidates everyone: Southbank! I lost count of the guys who ask for my phone number after I tell them where I live. It’s the dream place! Except it’s freaking expensive (is not for nothing called epic apartments). But hey, what kind of building offers you the best view, a pool, a gym, a tennis court and a concierge as your best friend for free?

They say if Melbourne and Sydney would be girls, Sydney is the girl you wanna fuck and Melbourne the one you wanna marry! Guess who I wanna be now? Melbourne is the most livable city, the cultural capital of Australia and the host of public bathing. Oh, did you know it was called Batmania before? After John Batman, one of its fathers.

One day I went for a walk and a stranger offered me a free ticket to the musical Disney Under the Stars. It was absolutely wonderful, took me back to my childhood!


I went to Sydney to surf and to check it out. I definitely found it attractive as fuck! So it’s true what they say… Once a guy leaves you for Sydney, you know he’s either gonna cheat you or he’s gonna fuck it and come back to your lovely melbournism.🙂

I have made over 100 friends. People who I can always text and meet somewhere in the world again. India, Sri Lanka, Chile, Argentina, Hong Kong, Canada, Finland, Holland, France, USA, Germany, UK, South Africa, Tasmania, New Zealand and so on. Australians are special though. They have all the cultures in the world in one. They collected and cultivated the first land on Earth with beautiful people, delicious foods, amazing art works and plenty of weird animals.


I haven’t party as much as you think, but I have eaten way more than you can imagine! I’ve been trying foods for the first time and it’s been amazing! Now, I just have to start loving my new body… which is not a beach one! Speaking of beaches – my favorite place to be – I’ve seen dozens, and still haven’t got tired of them. Cake on the beach! (Note to myself: to have it before I leave)😀

Oh, one day I had a pool party:

One day I went to a Burning Man theme party and got a tattoo😀



I’ve been trying and doing things for the first time of my life and everything that I’ve seen, heard or lived has had a huge impact. Nothing will be ever the same. But you have to be me or come down here to understand…


So now, I would rather go for a walk on a street with trees full of lights, a heal on the right and an art precinct on the left; with trams and calashes with horses caring Asians who wear umbrellas and silky gloves above their elbows. Where immense stone bridges would shadow fancy bars full of elegant figures having mimosas for brunch and seagulls will shit on thousands of padlocks.


I would rather go for a fancy dinner in Richmond, shop in South Melbourne market and have a coffee at St Ali’s where absolutely every piece of the menu (and staff) is delicious and a café with a hostess is all you need, trust me.


Or cook on a Saturday night while on the phone with a good friend from home.


One day I ate kangaroo. One day I realized there should be no races. Or maybe I completely forgot the reason why there is actually such a hardcore labeling for people. We are all made of flesh, we all have blood, brains, feelings, stories and can speak the same language. Why and when did we get so complicated?


One night I stopped next to two locals on their phones and told them “to stop calling me because I am here now”. I had no idea who they were, but one of them became my friend. Then these two passed by:


One day I went for a walk and I meth the Kardashians:


Another day I baked my first banana bread and it was absolutely the best I have ever had. And speaking of ever, never have I ever thought of me liking to cook so much… But hey, this comes with a different set of mind, years of experiences and love for food.


One day I slept in a Teepee where we had marshmallows in the camp fire and said funny stories.

One day I went for a pizza party and all I got was …shots, shots, shots!😀

One day I got Trapt in Alice in Wonderland:

One day I got speechless on The Great Ocean Road…

Some days I take selfies in places to remember.

Yes, I’ve been in Australia for 100 days now and this has ruined my life. How can I go back? But I am planning to take with me the laid-back attitude, the good vibes and some food! But hey, I am not done yet!


See you later!!

Message In A bottle

I am not 21. I am not even 27… Probably by now you know how old I am and whatever you think it has a “damn” in it. No, pretty sure it’s more like a “Daaaaaaamn!”
Damn what?
Damn, girl, you don’t look like? Damn, aren’t you old for this shit? Damn, you don’t sound like it? Daaaaamn, girl, you’re a woman? Damn, are you gonna write this on your blog?😮
I am probably asking myself these things more than you are, but I heard some really impregnated reactions lately so I couldn’t help thinking of…what you’re thinking😛
The oldest (cool) guy I met down here is 29yo in papers, but not a day more than 21 in real life. He has to smoke weed, drink shit loads of beers and break his bones every day while surfing to make it. For some reason I get him and I even relate to him – except the surfing part – I like my body in one piece – and I am sincerely trying to quit drinking beer, though it’s way better in Australia than Europe!
This guy invented a game called “The girl of the week”. He would choose a pretty girl on the beach every week and collect the memories in between substances. This reminded of my first time… I was the girl of the week on a sunny beach for a hot guy who never called me afterwords. He did actually found me 4 years later in a bar and gave me his apologies  and a huge great reason. Since then I can’t trust a guy who plays this game, but surely it’s super fun when you’re on a beach for less than a week and make your fantasies come true.
❤ Also, it’s more memorable if you’re not doing it every week…
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Surfer Boy splashing me away

Some people have goals when it comes to relationships. And you’re like “who doesn’t?” but I am talking of the most “insignificant” relationships that actually last forever – even though it was just a fucking one night stand for the other side. Stories like this will always be remembered. We make them happen for our “bitch if you have” portfolio. We live them even more intense when turned on by the faces of those who will hear the stories. We do it for the most craziest reasons. Like “I saw that in the movie” or “I wanna write about this”.
But it gets tiring… I am pretty sure the old surfer had his dry weeks too. Long, white nights when looking at a ceiling and thinking what the hell is he doing with his life. Is this who he actually is? Does he love himself? And what about that girl? Is the girl from last week the one? Or maybe he will never find a girl like THAT ONE. I am talking about Sarah, that amazing bitch who gave him the best days of his life. The one girl who he can fuck for hours, days and weeks without being high. She was one helluva girl. But they both knew they are not meant forever…she wanted a career in the city, he was a dreamer and loved his wild life on the beach. Maybe it’s time he should compromise? Maybe he would be happier in her arms in a nice condo in Sydney right now?  Then he pictures their wedding and his parents’ faces full of joy and accomplishment. All their friends would be super fucking proud and drunk at the party of the year. Few years later they will have a kid and all he’s gonna teach him would be surf, skating and football. School is pointless anyway. Sarah did it for so long they have it for 2 generations. They’ll still be looking hot af and probably by then living in a nice house on the beach coast. Mmmm…now isn’t that something even you would dream of?
But then he opens his eyes, a beer and lights a joint. He’s miles away from her and that life. He doesn’t have enough money to move now to fucking Sydney, he hates the city and Sarah is probably seeing someone else right now. They haven’t talked in ages.
We get addicted easily to drugs and other vices. The individual recovery takes a lot of change of the society actually. We might be aware of our “small” addictions, but we what we are really addicted to is the society and its expectations. The moment we break out we might lose ourselves for a while… We live in a world where the most important connections we have is to the WiFi and transportation. Try to break those and survive! without alcohol. Auch…that life isn’t for everyone. We have suppliers instead of friends and lovers. We objectify people and have no idea what’s beyond their Facebook profiles or our chat windows. We are afraid of real human connections and probably immune to them, because when they’re knocking on our soul’s door we suddenly become busy and emotionally unavailable. Ah, where is my love dealer right now?? I need a dose…
It was my birthday the other day and all the good wishes made more sad than happy… One message got into my head though. It simply said:
“Stay Blessed!”
This made me be grateful for all the reasons I am extremely blessed: I am healthy, I look way younger than my age (even though I am like  40 in bunny years), I am free to do whatever I want, all my grandparents are alive and my mom is the most amazing woman I have ever met – she takes care of all of us. Also, because I found the place that gives me peace and I can call it home. The only thing that disrupts my happiness is the thought of this ending…just like every other thing you don’t fight for to make it last. Like the thought Sarah is not thinking about her beloved Surfer. That’s bullshit. I know for sure Sarah wishes the same things, but they they are on different paths and journeys at the moment. And stupidly normal, they both wait for each other🙂
I am loved. By a few people who I should say thank you and I love you to more often… I don’t know how to express my love these days…so I will just say it here:
…you, my family who for some weird reason are proud of me.
…you, my best friends who listen my shit, failures and successes.
…you, my friends who answer my stupid lazy queries.
…you, my ex-friends who I slept with but became very ungrateful, fyi: I will always cherish the good times!
…you, the men I will never have but dream of. Especially that Danish chef who doesn’t even know I exist (sigh)
…you, my fans who are invisible and extremely jealous, I love you even more for that!
and you… my future best lover, best friend and significant other. Dude, what are you doing right now? can’t you tell I am waiting for you here?
oh, and you too, freaking odd and old surfer! you are another version of me after all. Such a dreamer!
I write this for myself and those who I love. And even if I don’t know you (yet), I love you too. It’s a general state of mind this love I am sharing now. So…it’s like a message in a bottle. You never know if anyone is gonna read it, but you have the hope🙂
ps: damn WP! is asking me to pay for upload a video! soon they will charge me for pornographic material…😐

What did I have for dinner?

hmm… I just had a coffee with a guy that had a hot chocolate because he thought it’s polite to do so, 2 beers with a girl who always makes me wanna drink, 1 glass of wine to wet the bun a friend for life gave me last week and another expresso shot with myself – to test my imagination.

Afraid, I am gonna fail? probably..

Damn, I hate when I am right!

That’s why sometimes I go wrong…

Like that post when I said Surfers are liars. Well guess what? I am a the only liar.

OH SHIeT, OH shiiiiiiet! did I? No, I didnt! oh, shieeet!!!

I lie to people who I like. I tell them shitty things so they’ll hate me which is the equivalent of stopping being nice to me which is…ripping the bandaid off.

Ah, you Romanians are mental! Never trust a woman who agrees with you!

That’s what he said!

you know, the Australian guy who wanted to marry me.

Well that was the first one, the second one went like this:

  • So, how long till you graduate?
  • a year..
  • Will you marry me after?
  • Why??
  • Because you will be smart!

Ps: sorry for the high-texting, but I think I miss you…

it makes no sense, right?

(and that’s why I hate it…because I am right again)

This entry was posted on April 13, 2016, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment