to feel nothing so as not to feel anything…

day 117 TEASE

Her: Based on the intensity of my fantasies right now, you might be the no1 hottest guy I know.

Him: Daaaaamn. Do share!

Her: Gotta go.

Him: Where are you going?

Her: In the kitchen.

Him: I thought you were cumming…

 

day 246 REMORSE

Her: Just delete me. I am tired of thinking to send you sexy shots every time there is no one else but me to appreciate it.

Him: Never. How would I get my random boners then?

 

day 351 FRIENDS ZONE

Him: Meanwhile, can I get a pic? If you just mail it I wouldn’t have to ask all the time, you know?

Her: No. Stop asking. I am quitting you.

Him: Quit me with a pic so I know what I am missing.

Her: You already do. Good enough for me. Actually is not, but still. Your choices were made. By the way, do you wanna migrate with me to hotter lands?

Him: That would be a waste of hot guys, wouldn’t it?

Her: Don’t care. I just need you to get the visa. We can have an open relationship there, so win win 😉

Him: Haha ah it’s like that… you’re just using me.

Her: You can use me too.

Him: Hehe, I need a threesome to think about it.

Her: Then go have one.

Him: With you and someone else!

Her: You want me too much!

 

day 402 HIS BOREDOM & CURIOSITY

Him: Damn, no pics for a day… It’s getting sad. Learning to program yet? Or looking for love?

 

day 510 HER BOREDOM & CURIOSITY

Her: I want to sleep with you without making out.

Him: Weirdo. Why would you want that?

Her: To see if I feel anything?

Him: I don’t think you do. Or you would be sent me more hot pics and not let me suffer like this.

Her: You’re right. Lemme get back to you when I do feel anything.

 

Had she been single, she would have undoubtedly gone back to his apartment, which he made sure she knew was just down the street, and let him bang the shit out of her. Then she would have told all her friends about it in a state of deranged glee.

What is behind these two characters is way far from your imagination. 😉

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that’s what they say

…WHAT A WASTE!

The Beauty in Our Social Media Life That Makes Us Ugly

“He hath a daily beauty in his life, / That makes me ugly.” Shakespeare’s Iago’s quote refers to the level of everyday attractiveness, not just physical, but also in personality and character that Cassio possesses.

 

This line is best to show one’s insecurities when it comes to those that make it look so easy and cool. And here comes the social media role which is showing us the best of everyone’s life perfectly built just to show off online.

 

We live in an era of envy. Well, people always have been envious on their neighbors, but now we can compare our lives to everyone in the world, and boy, we surely know to set high standards for that. Thanks, Instagram! I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s not only Nicole Scherzinger, but also our cousin’s new-born, our high-school friends’ weddings, our colleagues holidays or our best friends night out without us. You name it! there is a slight feeling of envy inside of us whenever we are spontaneously scrolling down. All these shots online plant a feeling of missing out and a need to look at our own lives. And we do it. Every day whenever there is nothing else to challenge our brain and body. On the bus, on the toilet and even in the middle of a conversation that gets uninteresting. We have our comparison devices in our pockets or next to our bed every day and night.

 

Now, don’t bail on me here. I know we know it. We are fully aware that all these images and texts below are not entirely real, but on an emotional level, they are to us as they are pushing our buttons. Because if they remind us of the things we want but we don’t have, then we get to the next level. We look at our own avatars and what we have constructed online as though it were another and even feel envious of it. #blackmirror

 

To end on a more positive note, let’s try to be happy whenever someone is truly happy. Because we know that the capacity to take pleasure in the success of others enriches us and it can give us many opportunities for joy.

 

Today my blog turns 9. Happy birthday, little FixPink! I am happy you serve me well and show people the best and worst of me.
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Here is a pink sunset and a girl who sits on air on their date. Be happy for them. 😀

Down to The Self-Destruction Road

Sometimes you are just a twenty-something-year-old who needs to survive shit with all the fucking options in the world. What food to buy or eat, what path to chose for your career, where to travel next, what job to apply to or who to love, kiss or bang, befriend or go out with.

Too many options and so many mistakes to make!

Sometimes you are just a twenty-something-year-old who goes home to their empty apartment where there is only alcohol and weed awaiting. Most of the nights, a 7/11 slice is the warmest thing that gets closer to your body and you can’t’ remember the taste of home-made meals.

Sometimes you love the last person your dreams pictured for you and … oh well, you gonna do it anyway. Because we don’t choose whom we fall in love with and getting out of it doesn’t really work.

Sometimes you are just in the wrong bed with the wrong person lying to yourself it is gonna get better and that one day this will feel right. Then they break up with you. And you are all over the place. You’re a mess. A carpet of all of a sudden feelings, shitty thoughts, stupid ideas and a craving for vices. Then you embrace the unavailability. Both ways.

Sometimes you wake up and you’re not a twenty-something-year-old anymore. You’ve been over that idiot bitch who didn’t love you back, you don’t have that friend with benefits anymore and winning at a board game doesn’t bring you that joy anymore.

You are the worst! and you are your best. Everything. But hey, don’t despair, it’s gonna be better. I have a good feeling about you 😉
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my all time favorite snap from a road

There is such a close line between believing you’re doing something selfish that should be for your own better self and ending up doing something completely self-destructing.

But we don’t know it until after it hits us with a message, in a friend’s speech or gets out in that badass gut voice we hear when sober. Enjoy the road, no matter how bumpy it is!

Have a good week!

x

 

If women would understand…

That we also have fears, but they are not supposed to be shown… 
That there is a great joy in the sound of an engine or when we scream GOOOOOL!
That we love more the extra smiles than a few kilos less. 
That sometimes is overwhelming to be the breadwinner.
If women would understand…
What it’s like to be brave, powerful and successful all the time. 
How badly we need a hug when we don’t know how to ask for it. 
How boring is to compare us with others’ boyfriends. 
And how hard is to learn what you’ve never been taught. 
Oh, if only women would understand…
The tears we don’t let to pour. 
The power you have over us. 
The sleepless nights we spend. 
Understand that…
We need silence as you need to speak. 
We never mean to cause you harm or grief. 
We are weaker sometimes than our hight and muscles show. 
We need you to make the best out of us. 
Because we are alike but so different. 
Because we express our feelings the way we can and as we learned. 
If you would understand…
You would be more joyful, less stressed, more natural and more confident. 
As mothers, lovers, sisters or friends, women are the ones giving us life and later on meaning to our lives. 
At the end of the day, the most important place to be is in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers. 
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I took this pic in June 2018 from my back then balcony – this was my fav unknown neighbor 

*I wrote this article inspired by this article of the Romanian translation of the original version. (Thank you, Adelina, for sharing that). But most of all, I got inspired by all the men I’ve met who were brave enough to open up their hearts to me. And for that, I am deeply grateful.

**Thank you and happy birthday to my apartment husband, who never reads my blog!

The Jigsaw Puzzle

We’re being spoiled with choice. There are 7,6 Billion people out there and we stick to the one we’ve met in college. Because of commitment, because of history, because of comfort and because of the fears and the demons screaming: what if you won’t find anyone as nice and supporting? Who else would accept all your flaws so easily? Whose parents will be so loving? What about your friends? What about awkwardness? Fucking dating apps! ugh… that heavy bunch of rocks in the back of your mind, in your stomach and all the alcohol they are floating on…
– It’s fucking insane. I am stuck!
– You can’t imagine a world without it, don’t you?
– Well… it’s intense.
– Take the leap!
– To what?
– You know it better.
Not being tight to someone’s hip all the time increases the level of curiosity, desire, and attraction. Distance and differences in hobbies are the secrets of creating the erotic energy in a relationship between us and the one we love. Esther Perel adds that this energy is built in that gap between you and your partner and your desire to close it and to be intimate.  Perel and other specialists (including my current self) believe that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.
But we wait. For people to take actions, to fulfill our exceptions and our illusions. The wait is an animal fed with ideas of someone to come or to leave. SPOILER ALERT: They won’t. But you sit there and you wait, waiting for an excuse to get out, just waiting for them to do something unforgivable for u to have a good reason to break up with them. But they won’t do that. So u have to lower your standards for what unforgivable is. So you start with ‘if they are cheating on me that is perfect’ but time goes by and there is not even a slight chance for that to happen. That’s when you get to the bottom unforgivable leaving the seat on or slurping one decibel louder than ever! BAM!
My male Irish comedian version and devastatingly intelligent Daniel Sloss is asking us: have you ever felt being trapped in a relationship where basically it feels like someone is dying but nobody is actually dying, but you secretly wait for that – because that is the best ultimate reason to be free from someone you love less than u used to? If the answer is yes… then let go. Take the leap. Create that distance relationship experts are discussing to be the liaison between two people who want to be together.
– I took the leap! I know it’s the right thing. Feels like shit though.
– Listen. You’re an incredibly beautiful and lovely human. That one doesn’t deserve your attention and affection. You’re a remarkable person and it’s so important to be brave and put yourself out there and do what you did. So I am going to ask you to promise me that this won’t stop you doing the same thing in the future. The world needs more people like you. x
In less than a week, Sloss got a record of breaking up over 4,000 couples right after his Jigsaw Netflix Special got released. Please go watch it and get back to me with some mean feedback!
Make me smile!
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this could be us, but we love to play hide and seek

30 reasons why I would never date you 

Here is a throwback to a handful of guys I actually dated for a day or two.
  1. Because you didn’t even ask for my name before you tried to kiss me.
  2. Because you bad-mouthed bloggers without knowing I am one of them.
  3. Because you want to marry me already just because you need a wife.
  4. Because you need to get drunk to actually talk to me.
  5. Because you can’t eat very well when I am around.
  6. Strike that! You are allowed to be in love. Just don’t pretend you’re not.
  7. Because you can’t pronounce my name correctly. You have to roll your tongue! They say good kissers can do that. It’s true!
  8. Because you never called me. Fuck texting!
  9. Because you suck at sexting.
  10. Because you don’t remember. Things. At least that matter to me.
  11. Because when you have sex, you imitate porn stars.
  12. Because all your jokes are about how big and cool you are. You know it’s not funny when it’s not true, so why putting me in that position?
  13. Because you told me you fucked another girl. On my birthday!
  14. Because you’re still in love with your ex. And you don’t even know it.
  15. Because if you’re not in love with your ex, you’re still waiting for her to want you back. That’s too lame.
  16. Because you have a girlfriend!
  17. Because… your dick.
  18. Because you’re a dick!
  19. Because of your dick pics!
  20. Because when I asked you out, you had other priorities.
  21. Because I already dated your brother. And If haven’t, I would probably do it now.
  22. Because when I wanted to kiss you, you said ‘no, I want to know you better’ and 2 seconds later you wanted to fuck.
  23. Because you couldn’t take that NO for an answer and tried to make me feel like I am crazy.
  24. Because you didn’t text me on my birthday.
  25. Because all you can text is Snapchat.
  26. Because you want me to sleep with someone else.
  27. Because you don’t shave your ass.
  28. Because you gonna read this and feel awkward instead of actually correcting anything.
  29. Because you can’t cook.
  30. Because you said I make poor decisions.
Well, so what?
I am not gonna explain all these little big details that turn me off. But I will let you imagine and re-consider how good your jokes are, how much you respect your body and how big of a person you are around the women in your life. Not because we are all judgmental creatures, but because we want the minimum of respect, consideration and good times! And yes, I did have my good time with you, and I do admit you have tons of other qualities, however, they cannot surpass the aforementioned.
Cheers!
X

September Issues

I’ve never met David Bowie, but he once said aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been. My stomach twirls every time I think of all the times I’ve hidden under heavy masks of conformity to toe the line the social groups I’ve aim for expected me to.
It’s September now, a few decades later and I don’t want to worry about that. I don’t want to worry about my mistakes. Note to self: let things happen organically. Do not rush the process! Deep breathe now. 👃 I also need to make my friends understand I should not be put on speakerphone. I speak my mind and my personality too loud. Did you know I have a bubbly personality? Well, I didn’t either. I just got endorsed by my manager for it and I want to think it wasn’t sarcastic. 🙄
So… September is here and I am a bit tired after this hot summer. Do you know how hard it is to find someone with a mind just as beautiful as their face? That’s one hard race. And I thought running a marathon is difficult! Speaking of running, I just did my first 5k in public the last day of August and I am so proud I didn’t die I will set more running goals for me. Yas, I know, I am getting cooler. I also want bigger boobs, but let’s save that for winter, ok? ( Dear Santa…✍️)
Summer is gone – winter is coming – I kissed some hot boys and then heard them crying (or seeing them run back to their exes). I don’t really get why. My philosophy is if it doesn’t hurt a bit then what’s the point of playing with fire? And you know that is my element. You also think I am a player, don’t ya? Well, let me tell you something, young lady (or boy)! I actually grew up with Disney movies and I am a grown hopeless romantic. I hope to fall in love with someone who never stops choosing me, someone I feel at home whenever I look at them. (Dear Santa, one more thing…✍️) I am not using sarcasm as a defense mechanism and I am not avoiding my feelings with dark humor. Seriously, I am not.
They say the smarter you get the less you speak. Well then, that’s my queue. Have a great week ahead, you brave and bored reader! Sorry that your job sucks that much you have time to read this. But hey, I do appreciate it.
Muah!
xx
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