What does it mean? That you are not interested or you just don’t care enough about someone? Have you ever asked yourself how available are you when it comes to people who want you in their lives?
I bet you think you are something, some really good stuff about you that make people wanna be around you. Also, I can bet that you think most of them are less interesting or not cool enough so that’s why they like you so much, right? Well, I just read an article about a girl being “emotional unavailable” and it made me think. First of all, the definition of this state of mind or this human being status is: being incomplete, in a continuing inner search, unfinished soul. Looking at me I can see how many frustrations, fears and things I am not satisfied with I cumulated so far. The most important ones are the fear of failure and the struggle to make happy all the people around me. The last one is the most exhausting and like Bill Cosby said “trying to make everyone happy is definitely the key to failure”.
Eva in her diary (Eva is just a very good blogger) says that self-knowledge is far away from emotional-unavailable people who are not aware of their own experiences and they are denying them. So these ones will be attracted to those who know this and will try to save them – because they have this sickly need to suffer. I can say I am pretty much aware of how messed up I am and I still am attracted to those who have what I don’t. I know I had a small amount of affection in my family – not because I wasn’t loved – au contraire – I was really loved and protected, but I was thought and programmed not to show this cause people will use it against me – they will take advantage and I will look weak. So I needed to be strong to fulfill my dreams (or my dad’s unfinished business in this universe) and now I am attracted to those who repeat the same behavior. Damn it! Am I emotional unavailable?! I always admired my father (although he still annoys me like no one else!!!) and I will always be my father’s daughter. Usually we are drawn to people that have something similar to our past relationships and unconsciously we chose them to try to fix something or just to continue the same unhealthy relationships we are used to have since forever.
Looking closely to your past and previous relationships you will realize that all of them have the same pattern and they are all a reiteration of those unfinished business or something that really has marked you and you will never forget. I really don’t know how should I call it and if it really is a problem. I think is just a state of mind or a condition that can be realized and taken as it is. Be a masochist or live like a victim if that’s how you function. Be a savior and fix people. I don’t care, as long as you are doing what you want and it makes you a little bit happy. 😉
Read also Eva’s article