Is it true that when you don’t love anyone talking about love is easy-peasy? What is it that makes us love someone and end up in relationships? Is it love or just the thought of it that drives us blindly though all sort of adventures? It has become really hard to make the difference between loving a person and loving the idea of someone perfect for you. And what is the line between loving and being in love with someone?
Is it love when you have a crush? Is it love when you have an obsession? Is it love even when you hate him with all your heart? What else can it be when you can’t stop thinking about him for days, nights…years? A few years ago I would say “weakness” to that. Now I call it a form of love you grow step by step inside of you which actually can have its perks. Yes, all your thoughts are about him, how you want him and the ways you imagine you two together. And you forget about all your principles, all your mom’s advices and everything else. You will go, try, fail and cry. Like someone died. That’s how it feels when you fail in making someone see your true self. Some do more than others and they get up and try again – maybe this time your part is different, maybe the moment is right, maybe now he’s ready – and they might have it for a second or a night. A kiss, a glimpse, a touch and some sweet words – enough proof to make you the winner. But it doesn’t take more than 5 minutes to end up in the same miserable place crying the shit out of you. Why? Because you fucking lost! You wasted your time, energy, weight (well this one is to thank for) and most important, yourself! Just to hear what you want and to give the story the kind of end you wish… that, my friend, it only needs to happen once in your lifetime. And it should! Because there is no better way than the hard way, right? You learn so much more about yourself, love and relationships when you fail them…
Some people have 2, 3, 10 years long relationships and don’t learn anything. They will describe them in small common words depending how they ended: “It was good, nice and …interesting?” “We loved each other and we were happy…especially in the beginning”. “But then something happened…wasn’t the same.” “Was ok, but you know…routine happens.” “It just didn’t work out”
Some other people have 2, 3, 5 months long relationships and learn shit loaded! They will talk about those so called relationships for years or forever! “I mean that bastard ruined my life!” “You cannot imagine how great the sex was!” “We use to do that and that…” “But then karma is a bitch! Her name is Sara. Skinny-bitch-blonde-blue-fairy-fucking Sara!” “I cried for that asshole for months! I still hold myself not to call him in the middle of the night to tell him how much I miss him…” “That girl, oh man, she was one of a kind!” “The best I ever had…”
Oh well… what do we wish for when it comes to relationships? Do we want 5 long blissful/peaceful years with a loving person where we can learn how to cook, wash and every single cm of our partner’s skin until the boredom comes and separates without even telling us why? Or do we want 5 crazy months with an Australian freaking weirdo who is amazing in bed and makes us question everything we ever learned? Well, I will say both! On repeat! 😀
We never lose. We either win or learn!
Ps: feeling slutty and being a good girl is never easy!