Once upon a time I used to write. To blog, actually. Now I can’t even open the freaking platform without feeling like a loser. Because I lost it. I lost myself during the past few years when I did some stuff but nothing worth to write about. But it’s weird, cause what happened in the past 2 years was the most important and difficult in my life…so is it worth telling you about? Will see.
I left Romania in 2012 in a moment I didn’t feel like it’s the right time and I wish I could’ve finish some business first. But yeah, I was young and foolish and quite a dreamer! I believed in so many other things than I do now…oh, God! You have no idea… or maybe you do now.
The first 6 months were the hardest…yeah, really comparable to 2014’s first 6 months. Depression. Moneyless and no achievements. No friends. No joy, but a lot of that Romanian word “dor” which in English doesn’t exist as a noun. [We, Romanians, have a noun and a whole concept of missing someone or something and we live upon it]. So yeah, I was missing everything and a lot of people back then. Then I arrived to Denmark – the happiest country in the world. For fuck sake, it’s not the happiest at all!!! [Dear researchers and statistics, please put Denmark in the right category – the most annoying sexy son-of-a-bitch country of all].
Missing [the noun] and a sexy son of a bitch are my current feelings. The first year I didn’t feel anything interesting – everything was shitty and useless but my school – which was the reason I was working my ass almost every day and cleaning shit. I didn’t know better and I didn’t want to change the road I was going to. I came to Denmark to get an international education. I wanted that degree more than anything because I was so convinced it will change my future. And it did. Not in the way I imagined, though…
Spring in this Nordic country is like a breath of fresh air after 4 months in the pit. You learn to appreciate the sun more than the clothes you are wearing. You learn so many things about yourself in a cold dark winter. You learn how to survive. It’s really weird all the feelings and states of mind you have after months of terror. Honestly, I was a robot. I was trying not to care or feel too much – even though I remember some bad episodes when I collapsed and yelled at everyone with ears.
Summer in the city… yeah, that was another huge change: moving in the Capital. Before I was a resident here I didn’t understand a second where is the greatness of this city. Now? I am guessing you know already that Copenhagen is the love of my life. Seriously! Sorry, guys, I know it is a hell lot to compete with, but I never felt like this for anything else. It was a fucking special summer. I worked every single day for 3 months and I slowly grow into a woman. I remember I woke up one day and I was like…where the fuck was I until now? Was I asleep?
(picture – 82 weeks ago)
[The storm started right in the next month.. October 2014 brought a huge wave of everything. Good stories are hard to tell…]