Is there no one left to fuck?

Warning! This story might be true and it will make you think of those you hook up, smoke weed or just fuck with. I used to watch South American Soap Operas aka Telenovelas when I was a teen and this story should totally be on screen! Don’t believe me? Just read!

The main character is Maria Fernanda, a Latino girl who is actually a sexpat as in a girl that left her mother land a few years ago to follow the love of her life, Don Alejandro. But it turned out that Alejandro wasn’t the love of her life when she met Don Juan de Mascarpone. Ai caramba!!!

Don Juan was older and wiser. He mesmerized the young Maria Fernanda with his suit, Java coding skills and his long experience with people slash women. He drained her into his world, got her mind, used her body, splashed her heart and then throw her back to the wolves. Waking up all alone in a strange country, she started crying and crying. Until one night when out of the blue, in a bar, one of Don Juan’s friends, Miguel took her home to smoke a joint. After being in a long serious relationship, Maria told herself that this is the 2015 version of romance and sometimes all a girl needs is a good convo, a joint and an amazing kisser. So she had a good one night stand and her chance to get over Don Juan de Mascarpone and everyone forgot about it, until a few weeks later when she went for a wedding where both Juan and Miguel attended. I don’t think you can imagine how much our little Latin girl had to drink and smoke to forget who she was or who they are. The joint was hers so no one took her home after. But that night she met Jose Armando…11149419_827936283909981_9141669884784005092_n

They say you become the people who broke your heart and after all that shit she’s been through, Maria Fernanda turned into an Alejandro. She had a loveless lifestyle without searching and hoping to ever meet the love of her life. She even started coding. Sigh. After a long lonely winter, another tinder couple got married and Maria had to be there and pretend she’s really happy for them – but we all knew her true feelings… It was sad. But guess who made her happy? Jose Armando, Miguel’s younger brother who is actually a great drug dealer in the city and what did he offered to Maria? Exactly! A delicious joint. Jose Armando used to date Josefina, a girl who Maria knew before just because she was into her brother. Ok, I know it’s too much info, but this shit is really funny. So let’s get back to the Tinder weds and the hot drug dealer. Maria Fernanda was all “Aaaiaiaiii Dios Mio” all night long. They got highly drunk in everything but mostly in love and since then, they are fucking happily. So now you get why all the romance comes with a joint? Thug life.

But once in a while another wedding or one of the previous characters pops out and something bad happens, so Maria is that girl. Literally, she is that “something bad happened?” friend and the one person you have in mind to feel better when you think your life sucks. Jose Armando and Maria Fernanda are not a real couple. They have something and probably that’s because there’s no one left to fuck in their world. I kept telling her she should start accepting joints from strangers, but I guess she’s too skeptic on that and more comfortable on having her own personal drug dealer. And who are we to disagree? 🙂


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