Closuring

Some closures take a few days, other take weeks, months, years or never happen…

Depends on who you love. I would say the smarter and powerful that asshole is, the longer it will take you to get over him. But hey, that’s just me and my latest revelation! Been hanging on to something for too long now and I am happy to say I finally put it to an end. Dunno if I had to move at the end of the world for this to happen, but hey, I am over it 🙂

When you’re caught in something you don’t understand, you’re not allowing  yourself to start anything good. You know those things you think you need and want? Those are just ideas you project instead of digging into the truth. Until one night. One night when you have the same worries and thoughts you had for hundreds of nights and you make some courage in answering the questions!

It wasn’t about him. It wasn’t anything he said or did. It was all about me. We tend to blame other people easier than ourselves and that’s when we get stuck on some fantasies of utopian scenarios with people who have no clue we are actually “bothering” them.

I got my closure now. It took me years to understand it wasn’t anything I ever imagined to be the reason for my restlessness. It was just me being tired of being… him. Because I always wanted to be just him: senseless, care free and confident.

I wanna live a man’s life in a woman’s body. That’s what I said!

The need for closure is the motivation to find an answer to an ambiguous situation. A person with a high need for closure prefers order and predictability, is decisive and closed-minded and uncomfortable with ambiguity.

I wanted this closure. It was uncomfortable for too long even though I was aware of it and letting it hurt. Masochistic. But I am done now. Because now I wanna fall in love again. Because when you fall you fly 🙂

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