My life is like a movie

You’re life sounds like a movie.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, well I wouldn’t be rich, but I would definitely get extra incentive to think I am being watched. 😀 No, it’s because of the stories I tell. When I was younger I used to make them up, not I just live them (guess I ran out of imagination). I know what you’re thinking, someone should be paying me, but not to worry, that day will come, my friend!

Most of the times I write about myself, but sometimes I describe other characters in a silly way meant to make people smile. That reminds me I should thank again to all my tinder dates who participated in my experiments just to entertain my readers. Well, also to get some – which didn’t really happened as expected… (sad face). There were some people who unfriended me, but hey, if you don’t get my humor, our friendship it’s doomed at my first joke anyway. Therefore, I hope today’s character won’t take it very personally. He actually asked me not to write about him, so I will make it again just about me.

He’s a guy I went on a date with recently. Well, actually there were three dates in one day. I know, right?!! Damn, I am kinda proud of this too. It’s been ages since I got to the second date. So, are you ready to read the script for the next Dafta movie?

It was a Wednesday, January night, almost as dark as this one, but with a less entertained me, so… as any unemployed, single slash hot and pretentious modern girl, I went on the App Store. That’s right. Tinder popped out yelling hard “You, quitter!”. Can’t lie to you, it made me think twice about my adventures there… but how can I go back? I said I won’t do it again – too much history repeating – every time the same shit: “You look hot, I wonder if you’re smart” and then he goes: “Of course my darling, I can be anything you want!”. Bah. Booooooring! next!

So, I didn’t reinstall or create a Tinder profile (for the 7th this time), but then I did remember a friend telling me about this other app which is really accurate and serious: Ok, Cupid! Let’s see what you got.

OkCupid is a dating app which uses “math to find you dates”. So just like other 1M “magic algorithms” that find people I will “actually like”. Haha, so funny. I thought I was the only girl creating a profile that night, but over one million people install it per week. There are 7.3M messages per day and I got 47 guys texting me in less than 24 hours with at least 2 lines of text – that means I contributed…Umm, just about x% to that achievement, Ok Cupid?

“Making the ineffable totally eff-able

When it comes down to it, there are 3 principles that make OkCupid the best dating site on Earth: our love of math, we’re always free, and everyone’s welcome.”

Math, freedom, and…welcomes? Doesn’t make any sense, but I love math. So, back to my experience. I was surfing and could see guys who were online, guys who recently joined or guys who were checking me out – which I don’t appreciate! I mean, I know they are doing it, I don’t need the confirmation of that, ok? (oh, look at that: I grew up!). Then you could just text everyone you want – the match thing is just for this cupid to remind you that this is all a game which you’re playing with real people. Sick! Oh, but the best part of this dating app is the matching percentage. After answering a bunch of questions about yourself, your future relationship and the rest of your ideal daily life, you can see who do you match with from 0 to 100%. I checked out all the guys and the maximum I got was a 78%, which I would say it’s ok for 3 pictures and checking some boxes. The algorithm is using the answers I checked for “him” because every question has the option of your answer but also what you would like your match to answer. In other words, you build your date/SO just like tomorrow’s office look.

I realize now that I developed an interest in exploring this kind of apps; think I should add it as a hobby in my CV? Don’t think I have room for that so I will just increase my level at UX 😉

So, while I was exploring the profiles of those I got high match percentages, guess what? Most of them were fat, ugly or Muslim. I mean seriously?!! What kind of questions did I answer and how come this “Match in the name of love” algorithm can’t tell I fall for hot-fit-agnostic ones? Oh, funny thing: I got a message from a guy I met on Tinder 2 years ago, emphasizing on our situation. Then we did some catch-up, and I have to say that I was a bit jealous when I heard that meanwhile he even had a relationship, broke up and got back on dating apps. Tsk, tsk. Made me wonder: what did I do the past 2 years?? Oh, yeah, that MSc thing, CBS, Australia and the whole contemplation on my life.

But hey, enough with the details, and let’s go back to my date. I liked his profile, don’t remember why, but I just got this feeling it’s a perfect written one and it had such great impact on me I had listened to this guy over and over again. First, when he suggested we should have a date on Skype. Second, when at the second date he made me listen to music so I would just read his lips, and last when I deleted my profile right after our third date – just like he implied I would do. Smart, right? Well, I only date smart guys – unless they are hot and funny. 😀 This guy was 70% perfect for me (according to OkCupid). Too bad I wasn’t (I couldn’t read his lips right when he said he wants to dance with me and I thought he was proposing. Ooopsie).

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