Don’t Talk About Sex During Dinner

Our generation has less sex than our grandparents’ and that’s because we can talk about it more than we will ever put in practice.

I never talked to my parents about sex. I barely talked about sex with anybody until I was far away from home and anyone who could judge me. During all this time of having a tabu subject, I established rules, fantasies, and principles. All for myself and the ones involved.

Time has passed and from amazing experiences to frustrations and relationships, I have slightly …changed. My rules found their exceptions. My fantasies found their reality and my principles got outdated. A few years ago I even asked my grandma when was the last time she and my beloved grandfather …banged. She laughed as that would be the very last question from me, but a very welcomed one from a friend.

– Four years ago, she whispered it.

She was in her seventies back then.

The other night I was at a dinner table with friends of friends and was making conversation with this guy next to me who I barely knew. After some small talk and a big glass of wine, he says very nonchalantly:

– I miss sex!

Oh, wow! Someone in my shoes, I immediately thought. I have to admit I was happy to hear him saying that. Suddenly I felt less alone on this planet. Someone else has as less sex as I am. The discussion escalated in describing times when he was having sex three times per day on the balcony, in the kitchen, or outside his building. Now he’s having a distance relationship and forced to wait for that time of the month…

– Oh, you know what I love doing? Oh, my God, I cannot tell you this…

– Tell me now!

Disclaimer: I wish I could’ve recorded his exact words because it was short, simple and on point: the way he would tease the girl so bad by ripping off her panties and leave. To the store or somewhere she could not see or touch him. Just for ten minutes. And by the time he would be back, she’ll be all over him. Mission accomplished!

Damn, boy! you’re good. Yes, he was a simple cute boy, and yes, I can relate plenty of girls would love a for-play like that. He asked me what sexy things I’ve done, what I would do and what do I like. I answered with the same nonchalance.

– I bet your birthday is in springtime, he commented afterwards.

– How do you know??!

– Because all the girls I had something with were born in spring.

I didn’t say anything more. I just backed off politely and pretended everything is normal. Problem is I can’t stop thinking how good that food was while having that conversation. But maybe was just the restaurant, right?

However, don’t do it at home, and especially not outside. You will get horny af and the next day at the office you will be extremely unproductive. 🙈

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#foodporn

 

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