Why Am I Not A Good Girl

If you’re a bad girl, send this article to a good girl. If you’re a good girl, you gonna keep reading.

My best friend just sent me an article that started like that. Was I offended? nah. I just forwarded it to all the good girls I know.

All my friends are good girls. Too good. Way too good for their men, bosses or friends! I don’t tell that to them often, but when I do is to make them feel empowered and to help their wilderness coming out. And the best part is that when it happens, guess who is the first they call? That’s right. I am that bitch!

Good girls please everyone. I just like to be pleased.

Good girls always work too much, too hard and still wondering if they did enough. I am just wondering.

Good girls always say they’re too good. That’s because they have girls like me sharing all our shit and they always feel better about themselves. They say yes to everything while I am limited to chocolate, challenges and good times!

The only time good girls don’t listen is when they cheat on their diet. After cheating on my diet every day, I realized I don’t even listen to myself!

Good girls always have excuses and they will excuse themselves from everything. My excuse is simple. I am just a bad girl. Maybe I should be a batgirl? Wonder who’d be my Batman? Sorry, my ADHD kicked in for a sec.

 

fixpink batgirl
fixBatgirl

 

Good girls stay out of any kind of conflict. I am a magnet for them. Just like I am for all the bad boys.

Good girls are waiting for prince charming. My prince charming is waiting for me.

Good girls sleep and dream about him right now. I am wide awake, dirty and, instead of taking a shower, I am writing this piece for you.

xoxo

FixBatgirl

PS: for more advice on how to be a bad girl, call my manager! oh, wait I don’t have one cuz nobody can manage me. 😆😈

PPS: I’ll add this to my #365givechallenge as the 52day of giving really important advice (and making you feel a bit better about yourself)

Ghost With Grace

I don’t love him anymore.

(us at some point of our relationships)

When you hear that voice, you know it’s gonna happen. Sooner or later, someone will have a broken heart and, even if you know it might be him, you can’t stop thinking about how shitty you gonna feel. If you are a needy, delusional and hopeless social person, you gonna stay and wait for it to hit you. If you know what you want, you gonna run and ghost the shit out of him. I know this sounds extreme but paradoxical, we should be grateful to our mental issues for the length of our relationships. It’s what they keep us together. Oh, my! This might the biggest secret of how Generation Z can have long-lasting relationships.

The end!

No, no, no! You don’t have any mental issues. You are a strong independent woman who knows herself from head to toes and makes all her decisions. If your family or the society hasn’t spoiled you enough, now it’s your time! Live alone, buy yourself little nice things, big sweet treats, travel, get drunk, forget about him, or at least treat him like he never stood a chance and move onto the next one. After all, the purpose is to know yourself, love yourself and then find the true love (which might be yourself too, but hey, a girl can dream).

Mental health issues have my respect, consideration, and dedication. However, I am here to talk about three side-effects of this society: ghosting, icing, and simmering.

Simmering is when you give someone just a few high hopes, then you tell them you want to see them again, but you are busy the next days so you reschedule later. This basically means:

I don’t want anything serious with you, but I would love to have you on my agenda when I need some fun, so we should just keep this at confortable distance.

(us when we (think we) know what we want

The icing is when you tell them you are not ready to be in a relationship now and you should just wait and see if later in time things will change. This is typical those who just got out of a relationship and still need time and experiences to feel good and awful about themselves while rejecting other people. Icing.

Ghosting is when you reject someone without any reason after having great texts or sex. Just because… oh my God, too many “what ifs”, too many options out there, too many responsibilities.

What we have today is a state of unclear relationships in which I give just enough not to feel alone, but I don’t have to do any of the things that make me responsible and accountable to you.

(Esther Perel)

Relationship and sex expert Esther Perel describes our dating these days as “hyper-connected-but-totally-disconnected“. We constantly checking/measuring/improving ourselves. We are self-centered, selfish, and in constant need of validation. The level of empathy has gone down. We are superficially texting, sexting, being in control of a pattern connected to our freedom.  All these small details in any kind of relationship are touching our confidence and self-esteem.

Love is basically the proof that the contest has ended; that we no longer need to compete because never before has love been such a referendum on our sense of self-worth.

(Esther Perel)

Just like Perel is encouraging us, I am trying to be nice to everyone, no matter how short our encounter is. I have no idea how important is for guys to be told they are not gonna be called or considered as a significant other, but I surely would like to know what is better to have a healthy relationship before it is…

too late

xoxo

me

PS: as part of my 365give challenge this is number 51 and it’s called giving a little piece of our fucked-up women brains who constantly wonder.

Giving Days 31, 32, … 50

Another 20 days have past and I have been giving away some serious things. Well, to be honest, ten days ago I was panicking at the office asking people what did I do nicely for them in the past weeks.

You gave me your concealer before that photoshooting.

Great! That’s about the nicest thing I must have done for a guy. 😛 I know, I am modest. Here is a list of the 20 things I gave away the past weeks:

Day 31: I returned two phone battery tanks to their owners.

Day 32: I went to a stranger’s birthday and made them laugh.

Day 33: I shared my date with a friend – I think this was a good deed and, even though I lost my date, I gain a thank you note 😛

Day 34: I said and did how the song goes: “I might hate myself tomorrow, but I am on my way tonight!

Day 35: I donated some of my clothes.

Day 36: I  gave a good advice to someone who needed it

Day 37: I shared my food.

Day 38: I told someone I miss them

Day 39: I gave someone who missed me a very nice phone call

Day 40: I wasn’t mean when I wanted to be

Day 41: I held my tongue when I wanted to speak up harshly

Day 42: I gave a silence treatment pretty well haha

Day 43: I forgave someone for yelling at me and putting me down

Day 44: I gave someone a book

Day 45: I made a shoe compliment to a lady

Day 46: I was friendly and sweet to an asshole boyfriend

Day 47: I let my ex-boyfriend love me

Day 48: I worked hard at work – over my strengths and hours

Day 49: I made dinner for a friend

Day 50: I love some people more than they know!

Damn! that was hard. I imagine you might think these things are super insignificant and don’t really count in real word as givings, but they are all I can remember now for doing well in the last 3 weeks. Some of them are straightforward, but those you don’t understand they are quite private and intimate for me. And remember, this #360GiveChallenge is just for my own development as a human being.

Day 22, 23,…30: volunteering days

Yup. Another week has passed and I have been helping three different organisations making money. For free. From my good heart and soul. And because I don’t know how to ask for money.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret it. I love helping people and my main contribution is teaching them how to do things better or contributing to their content. ‘Cause I have good communication skills. Except with the men in my life. That’s a whole different blog post! So when I will be rich enough to pay someone, I will definitely need a PA – a personal assistant or an agent who can make my working deals a little bit more profitable for me.

Here are my last week’s givings as a part of my #365Give Challenge

day 22: I wrote to Georgie a goodbye letter from all my heart

day 23: I volunteered to host a fashion and tech workshop where I smiled and welcomed everyone in the most positive way. Also, I made two girls feeling better about themselves by letting them be… Sometimes people need that. 😉

day 24: I volunteered to hold the door for everyone participating to a finance event. For an hour. That was probably the most boring job I ever had. Cleaning hotels are more fun! 😑

day 25: I gave a free t-shirt to a stranger girl that loved the one I was wearing. I think she’ll remember me fine whenever she will wear it 😍

day 26: I hosted a dinner at my place for three of my friends. We had the best Thai food in town. Neat, right?

day 27: I said yes to helping Women in Focus org

day 28: I brought coffee to my desk colleague and helped him get his tasks done – he said that was sweet

day 29: I contributed 20% to my team common goal (we are 12 people so this should be good)

day 30: I wrote a blog post for free for another website.

Dear Georgie,

I wanna ask you so many questions now…

I can’t stop thinking about you. Since this morning when I saw your Facebook wall full of memories people have of you… I can’t help thinking why? Why didn’t I say more to you when you were alive? Why was I afraid you gonna die, or that I will make you think about it when you didn’t need that. But then, how do I know what you needed to hear? I never asked you… I am sorry.

Remember when we met? Last year in June, we were both in the same coach from the airport to our tiny hostel in Cairns. Gosh, I know I am probably the millionth person saying this about you, but I’ve never met anyone more jolly and full of life while endless talking with their face smiling all over. I mean, how could you do it?? what made you live so high?

And then we started talking about homes, travels, boys, and dating. It was so cool finding we have dozens of things in common. The next day we explored the town, met Ryan and in the evening we went club crawling. When I introduced you to my friends, remember what you told them?

She’s the Romanian version of myself! If I’d be Romanian, I’d be this girl!

Seriously, that is still one of the best compliments I ever got. Coming from someone like you is just … freakin’ awesome! Thank you for saying that. ❤

That night was crazy, girl! you dragged me backstage to compete at a pole dancing competition. I chicken out, but you rocked! I was so proud hanging out with you.

I know we spent just a few days together, but the things we shared and the fun we had are all kept in memory forever. Also, I agree with all the things people in your life are saying today about you. The world has indeed lost a beautiful, brave, bright, kind and amazing person. However, thinking about a thousand times why you had to die, I came to the same conclusion every time. You are truly an example of a human being. We are all sorry you had to go through such hard times, beating leukemia once before, losing your dad, and spending the last year in hospital fighting cancer again. But we couldn’t be more grateful to you for showing us all what pussies we are. I mean seriously, your snaps from the hospital put me down every time thinking how tiny my shit is. And again, I am sorry I didn’t do more for you.

Imagine if you would have been living a normal, simple life without any tragic or extraordinary episodes. How many people would have thought of you as a hero, as an angel or “that girl” who can photobomb like a star? Not so many, I am sure.

How is it now, Georgie?

I bet you’re smiling. And you’re making other creatures laugh.

I would like to say thank you, girl, for making me think more about the quality of life. Also, I promise I am gonna smile every time your memory pops out my mind and I’ll remember life is short and worth living at its best!

With love,

your Romanian version.

 

 

 

RIP Georgie Stephenson 28.09.1990 – 06.09.2017 (Barwon Heads, VIC, Australia)

All my good thoughts go to her family and friends.

Days 11, 12, … 21: Giving Energy, Smiles, Comments, … Hands & Jumps

It’s been 10 days of me not concentrating on giving one particular thing, but just adapting to the routine of an adult. I started working on a full-time schedule in an office with lots of different characters.

It has been interesting, fun, exciting, stressful, funny, boring, hard, annoying … you name it. Just like any other job, right?

Work. Work. Work. If you say it fast enough I will think it sounds like twerk. No? Oh, well… This is the funniest I can be now. However, I’ve been giving a lot. Of myself mainly. Using my own energy to make people enjoy themselves around me.

Day 11: I worked out at home until I couldn’t move my glutes properly. I still have some unwanted stomach fat which I am giving away for free!! Anyone?? 😀 #365GiveChallenge

Day 12: I worked extra hours unpaid just so I could make my superiors proud of me. And myself. Not sure the stress I put myself through was any other good than learning not to do it again.

Day 13: I was nice to a couple of people. I didn’t tell them anything negative and I made them smile with a few honest compliments.

Day 14: I made someone a sandwich.

Day 15: I gave so many damns tears came as a bonus.

Day 16: I gave away bits of my confidence and energy someone got a fantasy come true. Somewhere in Australia.

Day 17: I gave someone a page from my diary where I wrote my honest feelings about them

Day 18: I gave a great feedback to my supervisor. Really. They should promote me!

Day 19: I sent my good thoughts to someone in the past.

Day 20: I kissed a boy. 🙈 Very altruistic of me, right?

Day 21: I started volunteering for Techfestival. So see you there this week!

 

Techfestival volunteers
Techfestival 2017 crew

 

Day 10: Giving 5 Years to Denmark

August 26th, 2012 marks the day I moved to Denmark. I remember when I left Romania I was wearing the same shorts I have today on. I know, I am thinking almost the same: damn, I am still as fit as five years ago 😀 That day I got a laptop as a present for starting a new cycle of studies and a new life basically. I arrived here with lots of courage

I arrived here with lots of courage, hope, and strong will. I didn’t know much about Denmark and it was for the best because I got to discover everything in the right way. I felt cold, lonely, heartbroken, unwanted, envied and ghosted way too many times. I also felt appreciated, loved, helped, admired, wanted and lucky as fuck.

If someone would have flashed my life from the past five years back then I would’ve run back as fast as possible. Oh, no! how could I have said yes to breaking up with my fiance, living with strangers, moving from one room to another for too many times, dating weird guys, falling for the worst, hoping for the best, getting depressions, panic attacks, anxiety, nightmares, deceptions, failures, a bunch of sorrys? 🤦🏻‍♀️But then again, I have learned how to live abroad, travel by myself, socialize, make good decisions, give more than receive, love when I wasn’t loved, who I (possibly) am and what I want to do in life. I had the greatest teachers whom I thank from all my heart. 🙌🏻

Today I was talking about how I love having crushes.  If you’ve met me in the past five years and let me tell you about any of my dating stories, you know my life was like a movie. I actually inspired a few people to travel into datingland and find their significant others. I know, right? 😀

Oh man, I can’t believe I’ve been here five years and I am still alive. Also, single and fabulous! 😎 not entirely sure about my mental health, but I am working on it. And I am home.

Today I am giving myself a good round of applause for not giving up, for surviving at my best and for still trying to accomplish many things 💪🏻

thank you denmark

Cheers! ❤️

ps: August 26th, 1920 is the day that women officially got the right to vote in the US. Today is Women’s Equality Day and, I imagine right in this moment tons of people all over the world celebrate it by debating strongly on feminism, women in business or marriage equality.  If you have interests in any of the subjects, plus more related to women, have a look at this list of books worth reading.