When she left the house, she only had in mind one drink and no expectations. She would go to bed early that night and nothing would change in her life. Little did she knew that wasn’t the case…
She was sitting at the bar thinking what to drink when he told her not to worry, he knows exactly what she needs. “Wait a minute”, she said, “you don’t even know what I don’t like”. “Tell me, then”, he said. It almost sounded silly when she said it out loud, but he didn’t seem to care, that wouldn’t change his mind anyway.
He got it right. “He’s good”, she told herself.
A couple hours later, while contemplating if it was the right time for her to go home or if she should stay a little bit longer… he kissed her. His hands found their way through her loose hair, grabbed her neck with a confident force and pulled her lips on top of his with no shame. Yet, that kiss was magical! One of those that hypnotizes one to lose track of time, space and own body.
When she woke up in the morning she looked at him sleeping next to her and wrote him a letter:
Dear Mr. B,
Thank you for tonight. You made me feel nervous and anxious, but also admired and spoiled. The whole setting was romantic and sexy. Those dim lights on the tall walls, the classical music in the background and those lovers in the back, topped with some aphrodisiac in my drinks and the way you looked into my eyes. Oh, man…
I had no expectations when I came to see you, but you managed to create some and exceed them before I even asked. You look sweet and you seem kind, honest and polite. Maybe too much. I know we just met, but I feel comfortable and safe with you. Which is dangerous now, because you are going to travel around the world, learn how to play guitar, make some art and become a better version of you. In a few years, you are going to be exactly the man I foresee in you, and the man I would definitely love right now because that is who I want. Not the boy you are now.
Bummer, you just said something in your sleep and for a second I was afraid you gonna wake up and I wouldn’t know what to do or say to you. On the other hand, I kinda wished you would wake up and kiss me again. But you just turned on the other side just like a baby sleeping in his own bed. Lucky me…
I have no idea if I will see you again, nor how long will you remember me, but I am glad I met you. Yes, everything would have been different if I hadn’t had come to see you tonight, but it’s too late now. You had to kiss me, didn’t you? 🙂
I had an awesome time with you. Please don’t hesitate to call me. In 3 years.
She left before he woke up. He never tried to find her. They never forgot each other.
“You are too old for me. I mean don’t get me wrong, I have always been sexually attracted to you, but I don’t think I can live up to your expectations.”
After 10 minutes you realise you basically cannot even swipe right once. You get 21 ‘bagels’ (gosh, how can one be attracted to someone who’s so highly objectified?! 😛 ) for 24 hours and keep thinking who to chose. But eventually you pick the 35yo engineer guy who looks a bit too serious and old for your taste, but hey, you’re curious about his PhD in solar energy and he looked nice in one picture – which was probably taken 3 years ago on some happy holiday. Oh what a surprise, you match! CMB sends you notifications on what to ask him. You only know the bagel’s name after you match. Everyone is just a bagel until they…eat each other?
The app’s algorithm tells you to ask the Bagel about the last book he bought. You do it. The bagel makes you wait. Overthinking mood on: “double check my photos, am I probably too superficial to him? I am way hotter so he must’ve think that there is no point of this anyway. Or maybe he’s at some dinner. Or he’s already sleeping. He seems the kind of guy who goes to bed early.”
“I like the honesty. I am not a fan of chatting too much here neither. I prefer to meet and see how it goes face to face. We can meet one day, have a coffee without making a big deal out of it and see. This Sunday morning would work for me. Please let me know what suits you.”
I explained the study to my university acquaintance. A heterosexual man and woman enter the lab through separate doors. They sit face to face and answer a series of increasingly personal questions. Then they stare silently into each other’s eyes for four minutes. The most tantalizing detail: Six months later, two participants were married. They invited the entire lab to the ceremony.
‘let’s try it’, he said
I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face by a short length of rope, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life. I spent the first couple of minutes just trying to breathe properly. There was a lot of nervous smiling until, eventually, we settled in.