September Issues

I’ve never met David Bowie, but he once said aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been. My stomach twirls every time I think of all the times I’ve hidden under heavy masks of conformity to toe the line the social groups I’ve aim for expected me to.
It’s September now, a few decades later and I don’t want to worry about that. I don’t want to worry about my mistakes. Note to self: let things happen organically. Do not rush the process! Deep breathe now. 👃 I also need to make my friends understand I should not be put on speakerphone. I speak my mind and my personality too loud. Did you know I have a bubbly personality? Well, I didn’t either. I just got endorsed by my manager for it and I want to think it wasn’t sarcastic. 🙄
So… September is here and I am a bit tired after this hot summer. Do you know how hard it is to find someone with a mind just as beautiful as their face? That’s one hard race. And I thought running a marathon is difficult! Speaking of running, I just did my first 5k in public the last day of August and I am so proud I didn’t die I will set more running goals for me. Yas, I know, I am getting cooler. I also want bigger boobs, but let’s save that for winter, ok? ( Dear Santa…✍️)
Summer is gone – winter is coming – I kissed some hot boys and then heard them crying (or seeing them run back to their exes). I don’t really get why. My philosophy is if it doesn’t hurt a bit then what’s the point of playing with fire? And you know that is my element. You also think I am a player, don’t ya? Well, let me tell you something, young lady (or boy)! I actually grew up with Disney movies and I am a grown hopeless romantic. I hope to fall in love with someone who never stops choosing me, someone I feel at home whenever I look at them. (Dear Santa, one more thing…✍️) I am not using sarcasm as a defense mechanism and I am not avoiding my feelings with dark humor. Seriously, I am not.
They say the smarter you get the less you speak. Well then, that’s my queue. Have a great week ahead, you brave and bored reader! Sorry that your job sucks that much you have time to read this. But hey, I do appreciate it.
Muah!
xx
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Coffee Meets Bagel

It’s a cold night in Denmark. You’re single, tired of watching Netflix alone and wish you could have someone who you could just cuddle with. So where are you going? Shopping. To the app store. Entertainment category. Tinder comes up first. But you don’t want a one night stand. Happn is too creepy, OkCupid takes too much time, Bumble is full of cute, smart but insecure guys and the rest of them…well, you don’t wanna be that desperate. But hey what about Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB)?
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CMB was founded by 3 sisters, 30+yo on Valentine’s Day in 2012 (though Wikipedia says it was on my birthday). These 3 females/feminists are confident that their app is the best dating app for women. So called “Anti-Tinder”, CMB names its users ‘bagels’ (I’m not sure if only the guys are bagels or girls too?) and here is how it works: you log in with Facebook, answer to a few questions about yourself including what you expect from your date, then you get daily (at noon) 21 ‘bagels’ who are supposed to be suitable for you. Also you get coffee beans for liking people, playing games and other quizzes, which you can use as the currency for buying extra bagels or to send them to your friends. Convinced yet? Okay… But heads up: single, smart, busy men are not hot, not on this app. Or at least not in the first ‘order’ day and not for sophisticated, high-maintenance women. 🙈

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After 10 minutes you realise you basically cannot even swipe right once. You get 21 ‘bagels’ (gosh, how can one be attracted to someone who’s so highly objectified?! 😛 ) for 24 hours and keep thinking who to chose. But eventually you pick the 35yo engineer guy who looks a bit too serious and old for your taste, but hey, you’re curious about his PhD in solar energy and he looked nice in one picture – which was probably taken 3 years ago on some happy holiday. Oh what a surprise, you match! CMB sends you notifications on what to ask him. You only know the bagel’s name after you match. Everyone is just a bagel until they…eat each other?

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The app’s algorithm tells you to ask the Bagel about the last book he bought. You do it. The bagel makes you wait. Overthinking mood on: “double check my photos, am I probably too superficial to him? I am way hotter so he must’ve think that there is no point of this anyway. Or maybe he’s at some dinner. Or he’s already sleeping. He seems the kind of guy who goes to bed early.”

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So what do you do? you poor yourself a glass of wine, install Bumble, swipe a few times right, get some matches, text 3 of them and even start a conversation with one. Bagel keeps you waiting, but who has time for that at the end of autumn 2016?! You text Bagel that you’re not here for random chatting, small talk and meeting tons of people. You have been here for 20 hours and it was enough to tell it’s a waste of time for you, but if he wants to text sometime and see if is there any connection, you can give him your phone number. If not, best of luck amigo! Bagel answers you after you already got two dates on Bumble and he sounds like writing an email:

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“I like the honesty. I am not a fan of chatting too much here neither. I prefer to meet and see how it goes face to face. We can meet one day, have a coffee without making a big deal out of it and see. This Sunday morning would work for me. Please let me know what suits you.”

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This Bagel obviously hasn’t been on the dating apps too much. But at this point you are super happy about this Bumble guy who cannot shut up and makes you smile so you don’t wanna be too mean to Bagel (even though he deserves more of your honesty). Tell him that ignoring your offering of your phone number was a turn off and Sunday morning is definitely reserved for a special guy who can make you fall in love on a perfect Sunday morning. Anyway, it’s late, winter is coming and nobody asked you for dating counselling. Though they should, cause that’s something dating apps made you good at.

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Apparently Coffee Meets Bagel made more than 2.5 billion introductions and created more than 50,000 happy couples. Called LadiesChoice because it’s the app with more women users than men (60/40 ratio). Also, one of the co-founders found her boyfriend on CMB when her sister sent the right bagel to her. Are you a coffee who needs bagels?
“Coffee Meets Bagel wants to be the place to find love, not hook-ups.” (TechCrunch, 2016)

Single bells

Hello! It’s me. Single and fabulous. I just called to saaaay I Love You! 

What? Can’t one just do this once in a lifetime just because life is beautiful, Santa is coming and there are a lot of parties in town? 

I know, I know. You are emotionally unavailable, you have a girlfriend, we don’t match, this is not working out for your blah bleh bleh! I don’t care. I am in California Dreamin’ 😎 

 Oh, and hohoho! (Not your gf, the song!) 😂 

The Cube Game

Have you ever played the cube game?

This was the moment when James got my attention tonight. I said no and indulged him to proceed into details.

So, there is the space and a cube in it. Deacribe the cube!

Well it’s a 2 apples size black cube floating … That’s it.

Ok. Now you have a ladder. Where and how is the ladder?

I see an old school ladder, medium sized like those treasure boxes pirates find in their adventures. This is one is sitting on the ground below the cube.

Hmm interesting. Now there is a pony in the space. Describe the pony.

My pony is a baby unicorn who changes its colors. Like cameleons.

Oh wow! Ok. Now the last questions. A storm is coming. How do u see the storm?

Well simply like a tornado destroying and taking everything up  with it.

James did a quite cool interpretation of all these elements in my univers and that’s how he forgot I am not the hottest the girl at the party. I wanted to go to this birthday party tonight but I was scared to…so I was inviting anyone I found funny enough to join me for free champaigne with fancy people but since they all turned me down, I went there alone. If though I barely knew the Australian birthday boy and none of his upper class friends, I had the courage to show up wearing black jeans, rain boots and a white ripped tee. James even agreed that I looked like I just got off from work (which I did actually). Oh well. The night turned out to be way more interesting than I expected. Me and James played some drinking games, which I won, then we crashed a party in a club in a Church and then we ate carrots at MacDonalds! Haha. For real! Oh, and whenever he tried to kiss me I took his hand and dragged him to a very unconfortable friendzone. But hey, at least his best friend there said I was his favourite Danish person, even tho I was the least Danish at the party. Second Oh, there was this blondie at the party who we all said she is the hottest tonight, but who actually gave me the most lovely compliments I ever got from a girl. She said I had such a great an unusual attitude and I was quite brave going there in the beginning. Well I guess I was really undersdressed, but that didnt stop me having a great time! That champagne…

Thanks guys!

Love,

The non-danish girl!
Ps: check my snapstory if you dont believe me haha

Pps: Happy Birthday to my friends Morgan from Australia and Andrew from New Zealand! ❤️

 

Breaking rules in the Datingland!

Summer is coming and I miss having champagne at 2pm near Chriastianshavn with a guy I just met… Ah, I will always remember Mathias for that date. #tbt to my Tinder dates

It’s been a while since I left Tinder and for about the same time, Tinder’s little sister, Miss Bumble has been growing in the app store. Apparently, Tinder’s mother, Whitney Wolfe created Bumble after she sued Tinder’s father for sexual harassment (not shit) to get a little more revenge (and because she wasn’t over the guy). Bumble is a social discovery app that “promotes a safe and respectful community” where “you’ll never get unwanted messages” and your suggestions will be more relevant than the “dead-end matches” you find on “other, more shallow apps.” For more official info click here.

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The trick is that Bumble is a niche dating app where women have the luxury to go first. Well, say hello to chivalry! Ladies first! Mmmm! Me likey. It’s not feminist at all. It’s just another way to let the women in the driving seat without having men saying “women cannot drive”. Ok, maybe just a little bit feminist… 😛 But beating Tinder at his own game? That’s a helluva challenge, I might say.

Some call it Tinder’s competition while others say it’s exactly the same (due to the work of the same designers), but Bumble it’s more selective. Tinder has become the dating pool of drunk guys who rank girls with their friends and for girls to fish some #tindernightmares. Or swiping on the toilet (guilty as charged). There is no emotions and no real stuff in there anymore (well except the toilet part). But that’s just me. I’ve been Alice in Tinderland for a year and I learned some stuff. But because I miss the excitement of getting to know someone on a screen with only few clues and the possibility to be asked on a date, I will give Bumble a change. Plus, I’m heading to Australia, I need an e-friend to begin with.

Bumble is quite fun, relaxing and challenging actually. On Tinder I’ve never started a conversation, because I am that old fashioned and because I hate the rejection, ignoring or leaving the impression that I am already into the guy. Plus, he wouldn’t work his ass (I mean brain) at all after that. Well now, it’s worst: on Bumble I have to break the ice every single time and I just realized I suck at pick-up lines! Men, now I get why you sound so boring and silly at the beginning! Is there a book for getting good at this?

My first pickup line on bumble was not that bad. I just said that “I have no idea what to say that would not be a chiche. Hopefully you won’t smell my beginner moves here. But…how you doin?”  The guy said the question was good and while I thought I played smooth and throw the ball in his court, he didn’t help so I had to continue. 😛 Had a nice conversation about my landing in Bumbleland and how after 10 minutes the game was over and he was my only match. He called me picky. I admitted. What?! I told you I am not good at this…

“Looks like you’re out of people… Check back soon or invite some friends!” Dayum… Story of my life!

There are not hot guys, girls. There are all geeks who studied IT or have weird jobs in Danish companies. This is another extra feature. Bumble imports the last job and studies from Facebook. Most of them are international. Obviously they are shy. Would not say a word until you allow them and they will feel very bad cause you’re not the compliment type, right? Haha. Also, your match expires in 24 hours if you don’t say anything to the guy. And another exciting part of Bumble is that each guy can extend another 24h for one girl per day. Muhaha, more stalking! I think this is a happy digital start of a world where sexual equality is not even a matter. It is just a fact and an accepted one.

Now excuse me, I have some dating to do! 😉

Come si dice???

S-a creat o vorba, un cliseu, o asociere demna de atlas de mitocanie urbana: vine acasa dupa cateva luni din Italia si incepe cu “come si dice” la ceapa … ma-tii de arogant penibil ce-ai uitat de unde ai plecat! Asa-i, nu?! Am zis cliseu pentru ca toti cei plecati din Romania avem exemplul asta si ne barfim intre noi fara niciun dubiu ca toti facem la fel (sau nu). M-am auzit de n ori spunand ca-i boring si whatever chiar si de fata cu bunica-mea. O fac din reflex, dar tot timpul o secunda imi bate constiinta la usa si mi-aduce aminte de “come si dice”. Apoi ma simt aiurea … ca e creat deja stereotipul ala de roman arogant ce nu mai stie vorbi romaneste si lumea se uita la el urat. Dar dupa ani petrecuti intr-o alta limba, n-ai nevoie de scuze, n-ai ce sa faci decat sa te controlezi si sa te adaptezi. Asta e o problema mai mare decat vorbitul. Adaptatul.

Dupa 3 luni petrecute printre danezi am mers acasa si mi-a trebuit o saptamana de nervi si stres sa ma pot adapta si reobisnui. Romania e o tara frumoasa dar dura ca dracu. E ca o mama ce insista sa joci pe valori vechi si pline de praf, iar dupa ce iti petreci timp printre mame care don’t give a shit (asta e din ciclul in engleza e mai scurt si mai la subiect), te cam deruteaza putin. Austeritatea …vietii!

Asadar, cum se zice pe la noi: iarba verde de acasa…damn, habar n-am care e continuarea la vorba asta, dar o scot cumva la capat si inchei prin a spune ca vine iarna, vin sarbatorile, iar eu o sa ma gandesc ce pot sa fac in Danemarca in situatia in care…come si dice? Sunt singura. O sa citesc mai mult in engleza si o sa ii scriu chiar si lui Mos Craciun.

Happy thanksgiving!
Sper ca incep si romanii sa sarbatoreasca zile in care multumesc (mi se pare o americaneasca mai utila decat blackfriday oricum)

Pîsî: sper sa nu uit deseara sa multumesc si eu vreo doua 😉

am vazut prea multe filme

Cu titlul asta chiar n-as vorbi la propriu despre filme, dar chiar asta o sa fac. Am descoperit ce ma calmeaza si ma face sa termin cu analizatul si injuratul realitatii: filmele altora. Daca eu mi-am pierdut inspiratia in a a scrie, crea si organiza macar sa ma uit la altii.

Desi acum vreo 2 ani credeam ca nu se mai fac filme bune in lume, iata ca s-au speriat o groaza de regizori ca vor muri fara opere de arta si statuete si au inceput sa transpire cu idei de filme.

Topul meu pana azi:

1. Django Unchained – pentru ca ador cum moare Tarantino in el :))))))))) – am ras 10 minute la scena aia

2. The Impossible – pentru ca am plans cu emotie

3. The Legend of 1900 – nice story!!! (e din ’98 filmu’, dar doar ce l-am vazut)

4. Jeux D’Enfants – pentru ca l-as vedea oricand (nu l-am pus pe primul loc pentru ca au trecut deja 3 ani de la ultima vizualizare si trebuie sa il revad curand)

5. The Joneses – ador ideea de marketing creata aici

6. Savages – pentru ca threesome-ul e happy-endul aici 😀

7. Remember me – nice end

8. A little bit of heaven – pentru ca si oamenii pozitivi pot muri, deci nu o sa imi regret negativismul prea mult daca mi se intampla

9. 7 Psychopaths – funny psychopaths!!!

10. Crazy Stupid Love – 🙂

11. Horrible bosses – bine, J.Aniston!!!!

12. The help – nice approach of the reality

13. Hunger Games – bloody future!

14. Skyfall – ca doar e James Bond

15. The Expendables 2 – si eroii imbatranesc cateodata :)))

Arnold Sw: I’ll be back.
B. Willis: You’ve been back enough. I’ll be back.

16. Ted – ce-ar face un ursulet la maturitate

17. Trouble with the curve – Un Clint Eastwood baran si intelept si un Justin Timberlake bun de insurat

18. Flight – good!

19. Rust and Bone – – se pare ca filmele cu persoane cu dezabilitati, fizice sau psihice ruleaza in noul deceniu

20. The Hobbit – pentru ca l-am vazut cu ai mei la cinema 3D 🙂

21. Men in Black 3!!!!

22. The Odd Life of Timothy Green – un baietel ce se naste din pamant si dintr-o dorinta

23. Dance in the Dark – !!!Bjork!!!!!

Animation

1. Ice Age Continental Drift – pentru ca m-am jucat cu toate animalele alea vreo 7 luni :))) (ice age village)

2. Tangled

3. Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted

4. Rio – who hasn’t played Angry Birds?????!!!!

5. Zambezia- e cu pasarele din nou :))))

6. The guardians – Bufnite :)))

7. Up

8. Ronald the Barbarian – danish style  :)))

9. The Adventures of Tin-Tin

10. Puss in Boots!!!!

11. Rango

12. Megamind!!!

13. The Smurfs! 😀

14. Ratatouille

 

Si mai aaaaaam, dar cred ca e de ajuns pe azi. Am 119 titluri in lista mea pe imdb ce asteapta sa le vizionez. Mi-ar placea sa am si atatea carti pe care sa le pot citi in 2 ore 🙂 timpul zboara, imaginile raman.

Spor la filme! Astept si recomandari – in special filme despre care nu stiu si merita vazute!

ps: ii multumesc Laurei Laurentiu pentru albumul ei cu filme de pe FB care ma inspira maxim (nici nu ma mai uit la trailere dupa recenziile ei).