The Egg Story

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

–          What …what happened? You asked. Where am I?

–          You died, I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

–          There was a … truck and it was skidding…

–          Yup, I said.

–          I… died?

–          Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies. I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me.

–          What is this place? You asked. Is this the afterlife?

–          More or less, I said.

–          Are you god? You asked.

–          Yup, I replied. I’m God.

–          My kids… my wife, you said.

–          What about them?

–          Will they be all right?

–          That’s what I like to see, I said. You just died and your main concern is for your family.  That’s good stuff right there.

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar teacher than the almighty.

–          Don’t worry, I said. They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.

–          Oh, you said. So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?

–          Neither, I said. You’ll be reincarnated.

–          Ah, you said So the Hindus were right.

–          All religions are right in their own way, I said. Walk with me.

You followed along as we strode through the void.

–          Where are we going?

–          Nowhere, in particular, I said. It’s just nice to walk while we talk.

–          So what’s the point, then? You asked. When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.

–          Not so! I said. You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders.

–          Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had. You’ve been in a human for the last 58 years, so you haven’t stretched out and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here long enough you’ll start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.

–          How many times have I been reincarnated, then?

–          Oh, lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives, I said. This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.

–          Wait, what? You stammered. You’re sending me back in time?

–          Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.

–          Where you come from?

–          Oh, sure, I explained, I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly, you wouldn’t understand.

–          Oh, you said a little letdown. But wait, if I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.

–          Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.

–          So what’s the point of it all?

–          Seriously, I asked? Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?

–          Well, it’s a reasonable question, you persisted.

I looked you in the eye.

–          The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe is for you to mature.

–          You mean mankind?  You want us to mature?

–          No, just you. I made this whole universe just for you. With each new life, you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.

–          Just me? What about everyone else`

–          There is no one else, I said. In this universe, there’s just you and me.

You stared blankly at me.

–          But all the people on Earth…

–          All you. Different incarnations of you.

–          Wait. I am everyone?!

–          Now you’re getting it., I said with a congratulatory slap on the back.

–          I’m every human being who ever lived?

–          Or who will ever live, yes.

–          I’m Abraham Lincoln?

–          And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too, I added.

–          I’m Hitler? You said appalled.

–          And you’re the millions he killed.

–          I’m Jesus?

–          And you’re everyone who followed him.

You fell silent.

–          Every time you victimized someone, I said, you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done it to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.

You thought for a long time.

–          Why? you asked me. Why do all this?

–          Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You are one of my kind. You’re my child.

–          Whoa, you said, incredulous. You mean I am god?

–          No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing- Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time you will have grown enough to be born.

–          So the whole universe, you said, it’s just…

–          An egg, I answered. Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.

–          And I sent you on your way.

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Yes, I just wrote THE EGG story by Andy Weir just as it was written by me. Now you know it too and you can also read it in your language. 🙂

 

Hey, pretty girl*

Hey, pretty girl, how is it going?
Who is seeing you naked these days?
Who steals your eyes in their glowing?
Spreading ambrosia in their ways 
And tears with pepper
No missing, it’s better. 
You cried enough. 
Images… hot stuff.
You don’t want to remember. 
It’s the end of December.
The times when your soul was small. 
The days of this bleak fall. 
Today you’re laughing at your feels,
You’re drowning them in coffee,
Overthinking in your heels,
Wishing for that trophy,
Forgetting about your meals.
Looking in the mirror with your hair loose 
Your heart and mind are still abused. 

sadgirl

You painted your nails in black, 
Your friend is now the dark.
Wearing your glittery eyes 
You’re strong and wise.
Forget about your therapists!
Forget about the other specialists!
Live your sadness until your thoughts die
And you will reach out to the sky. 
It’s over for you and I
Who knew you can cry rivers? 
Come to me. I won’t lie. 
I won’t give you the shivers.
Don’t cut your hair again.
Don’t run to Spain.
Wait until you’ll have a healthy brain. 
The mirrors will show you.
Take my hand and let’s get away.
We’ll wait for a breezy May. 
We’ll talk after some wine and coffee, 
Some people and stories,
Some chocolate with toffee
And new territories. 
(translated and adapted from a poem one of my amazing Romanian gal pals wrote on her blog)*
Hope you like it 🙂

“What Would Vio Do?”

I’m doing ok. Planning a winter trip to Bali, with Ryan. Backpacking style. Want to hit up temples, do some meditating and reset overall. It’s considered the world’s purification spot… i’m hoping i’ll return renewed and grounded. I need some chill and drive. I want to return with a clearer head. I’m hopefully going to start an internship when i get back, and hit the job market by next summer or fall. Exciting and terrifying at the same time. What are u up to these days? What’s difficult to overcome? I’ve always felt i could play the “what would Vio do?”, i feel like you always seem to find the answers to what can help you grow. I think our biggest fear becomes the constraint of a boring repetitive job, one that stagnates our accumulation of knowledge. Then again, continuing to float around in endless degrees and post graduates only pushes that back… i’ve gotten so comfortable looking forward to being nursed by profs and curricula, that now i dread the day when i have to be a 9-5er. I might visit Europe in the summer, i’m looking into potentially moving to Berlin, but i want to see it first, and get a sense of it, before i dive in. People keep scaring me about Germany and how dismissive they are of outsiders, so i don’t know if i’d be willing to go through it again. And don’t say ‘come here’, i like the sun! Hahaha

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 I like the sun too, babe! ❤

Learning From Jon: Life is as Easy as You Make it!

Do you have a mentor? Someone you admire and believe in to guide you in the right direction? You can choose your mentor or he/she can choose you. A mentorship comes when there is a need and interest to develop yourself, professionally or as a human being. There is no downside in your relationship with a mentor. It may last a day or a life time, depending on how much you connect and help each other. A mentor can be a parent, a business partner or a good friend (before or after), someone with the necessary experience to guide you where you are insecure but it is a part of your dreams.

It is always a good time to make a change. There are phases in our lives completely different than what we know and so are the people we surround with. So you will never be too young, too dumb, too smart or too old. Not for those who care about you anyway. After having lots of talks with and about mentors, I came to wish for one. I feel the need of having relevant guidance to where I am heading to and I am excited who is gonna be next. It’s not easy in such busy times to find willing people to help out, but there is no harm in trying. Be prepared to be turned down. Breaking hearts and killing dreams is like riding a bike these days.

Few weeks ago I almost got fired from a job I have only for more money and which I stopped enjoying it. So I started a serious job hunting then, but without any success. I suck. I am not a specialist, nor excellent at anything in particular, so my chances of getting one of those ad jobs are quite low. In between crying and smoking my brains out, I figured out I am searching and applying to all these jobs just because there are people who look down at me for not having it. Is that what I need to feel better about myself? A job where I sit in front of a computer and type numbers while I get paid less than now and feel even worse cuz I am not even good at it?! So then it hit me. I need a mentor. And if I need a different job, then I should be working for my mentor. I wanna work for someone I look up to, someone I believe in and I can learn anything I need to know in order to build my own career. The one I want. So I wrote to people telling them this and even though I was turned down politely, I am not giving up. And you shouldn’t either; it’s gonna happen! 🙂

Last night I had an amazing dinner with a Danish mentor called Jon who advised me on the career path and it was extremely helpful. Today, zapping on Ted talks, I found this Thai Jon who warmed my heart and soul with his speech about how easy life can be. I share in his belief! There are values in our lives that we tend to ignore blinded by the needs and control of a selfish society that doesn’t give us anything without paying. A society that we don’t know, we don’t love and doesn’t share our feelings. We have a choice and the way we make it will determinate how easy and beautiful our journey can be. Listening to his speech will make you more aware about our different set of values and that, at the end of the day, we all care about feeling free, healthy and content. Happiness comes from our inner selves, so use some time to look in there. Have a wonderful day, ya’ll! ❤

How I fell in love with a programmer

  • Your code is spaghetti!

When he said that, I squeezed hard my hand in my hoodie’s pocket and forced myself not to throw a comeback line. I mean who the fuck is he? 😮

He is that guy who has a full agenda and you rarely see him. He’s often at conferences where he presents on panels. Than he tweets and writes about them on his LinkedIn page where he has hundreds of geek followers crazy opinionated. I roll my eyes every time he takes pictures of the: “AMAZING audience @ the panel on #digitalentrepreneurship @RazorfishTechSummit.” Looking at the nerdy faces in the public I secretly wish to be there as the woman in the red dress. Devil laugh. I can’t remember which one of my belovers planted this idea into my head, but it’s on my todo list.

Anyway, back to my code. And my guy.

  •  You know what code is?

I furrow my brow. What is he expecting me to answer? That’s a rhetorical one, but I will let him be the smartass now. He eyes me sympathetically and explains:

  • We are around 18 million programmers. The world needs programmers for everything that surrounds you and if not, it will. For example, programmers write the code that runs your TV and if your floss doesn’t need a code now, I can bet you it will in the future. I am gonna tell you my view of software development as an individual among millions. Code has been my life and it has been your life, too. Don’t you think it’s time to understand how it all works?

I am looking at his mouth, he has nice lips. I am checking his eyes. Never noticed how blue they are. I am laying back on my chair and grin. I think I am gonna unexpectedly enjoy this convo.

  • It becomes easier with every month to do things that have never been done before, to create new kinds of chaos and find new kinds of order. Every month code changes the world in some Interesting, Wonderful or Disturbing way. You know that someone, somehow, enters a program into the computer and the program is made of code. Computers usually “understand” things by going character by character, bit by bit, transforming the code into other kinds of code as they go. Every character truly, truly matters. Every single stupid misplaced semicolon, space where you meant tab, bracket instead of a parenthesis—mistakes can leave the computer in a state of panic. The trees don’t know where to put their leaves. Their roots decay. The boxes don’t stack neatly. For not only are computers as dumb as a billion marbles, they’re also positively Stradivarian in their delicacy.

Trees, leaves and roots? Stradivarius and delicacy? Where is this going? I feel romance…

  • That process of going character by character can be wrapped up into a routine—also called a function, a method, a subroutine, or component. And that routine can be run as often as you need. Second, you can print anything you wish, not just one phrase. Third, you can repeat the process forever, and nothing will stop you until the machine breaks or, barring that, heat death of the universe. Obviously no one besides Jack Nicholson inThe Shining really needs to keep typing the same phrase over and over, and even then it turned out to be a bad idea.

Boy, he talks a lot. I though programmers are only good at coding, not explaining it… and this good.

  • Coding is a broad human activity, like sport, or writing. When software developers think of coding, most of them are thinking about lines of code in files. They’re handed a problem, think about the problem, write code that will solve the problem, and then expect the computer to turn word into deed. Code is inert. How do you make it ert? You run software that transforms it into machine language. The word “language” is a little ambitious here, given that you can make a computing device with wood and marbles. Your goal is to turn your code into an explicit list of instructions that can be carried out by interconnected logic gates, thus turning your code into something that can be executed—software.

Magic!!! 😀

  • Oh, there’s no magic, no matter how much it looks like there is. There’s just work to make things look like magic. And it’s crazy in there! The hardest work in programming is getting around things that aren’t computable, in finding ways to break impossible tasks into small, possible components, and then creating the impression that the computer is doing something it actually isn’t, like having a human conversation. This used to be known as “artificial intelligence research,” but now it’s more likely to go under the name “machine learning” or “data mining.” When you speak to Siri or Cortana and they respond, it’s not because these services understand you; they convert your words into text, break that text into symbols, then match those symbols against the symbols in their database of terms, and produce an answer. Tons of algorithms, bundled up and applied, mean that computers can fake listening.

Fake listening? Is that what I am doing right now? Cuz a lot of other things run into my head…

  • Enough talk. Let’s code!

No, let’s let you talk some more… I am truly listening. Your language is amazing!

  • A language is software for making software. Truly understanding a language’s standard library is one of the ways one becomes proficient in that language. Typically you just visit Web pages or read a book. A coder needs to be able to quickly examine and identify which giant, complex library is the one that’s the most recently and actively updated and the best match for his or her current needs. A coder needs to be a good listener (like you, right now). Code isn’t just obscure commands in a file. It requires you to have a map in your head, to know where the good libraries, the best documentation, and the most helpful message boards are located. If you don’t know where those things are, you will spend all of your time searching, instead of building cool new things.

I want a programmer right now and for life! Command: redirection of the man of my dreams! ❤

  • Dream of 10x programmers if you will. But I wouldn’t hold out hope that one will come to work for you. You can’t hire them for the same reasons you can’t coach the Chicago Bulls and you aren’t often called upon to date supermodels of your preferred gender. They’re not interviewing at your crappy company for your crappy job. They’re not going to come and rescue your website; they’re not going to make you an app that puts mustaches on photos; they’re not going to listen to you when you offer them the chance to build the next Facebook, because, if they exist, they are busy building the real Facebook. Sometimes they’re thinking about higher mathematics, or how to help a self-driving car manage the ethical choice between running over a squirrel and driving off a cliff. Or they’re riding their bikes, or getting really into pottery. It’s hard to have a better life than a great programmer, as long as they’re unencumbered by physical or mental illness.

Why are you making this harder??

  • As a class, programmers are easily bored, love novelty, and are obsessed with various forms of productivity enhancement. God help you if you’re ever caught in the middle of a conversation about nutrition; standing desks; the best keyboards; the optimal screen position and distance; whether to use a plain text editor or a large, complex development environment; chair placement; the best music to code to; the best headphones; whether headphone amplifiers actually enhance listening; whether open-plan offices are better than individual or shared offices; the best bug-tracking software; the best programming methodology; the right way to indent code and the proper placement of semicolons; or, of course, which language is better. And whatever you do, never, ever ask a developer about productivity software!

He completely outranks me now. Not with his 500+ LinkedIn connections, his highly profitable company nor his age. He strokes his short beard with his tanned hands (he hikes a lot) and continues:

  • If coders don’t run the world, they run the things that run the world. Print something on our screen now.

62rtd

 

Hello World! Needless to say how I enjoyed this guy stories and perspectives on programming. Read Paul’s whole story here.

Saying goodbye…

The silver lining is that I’ve come to realize what an amazing, beautiful, courageous, energetic, daring, funny, giving, humble, intelligent, jaunty, kooky, loving, mature, nerdy, optimistic, powerful, quizzical, respectful, sassy, tempered, uplifted, victorious, warm-hearted, Xena-strengthed, yielding, zealous young woman i am.

Well, here is an article a lot of girls have to read. I am not saying it goes for everyone, but it sure is inspiring and makes you think. 🙂 Enjoy reading! (this is from the category – when others write for me)