- When they don’t text back
- When they say “nobody asked you to do that” extra chore
- When you get up early and they don’t even eat breakfast
- When they are wearing their home clothes but they smell bad
- When their dishes have leftovers on for days and they are somewhere else but the kitchen sink
- When you get flowers from your ex who is still not over you
- When you can tell there is nothing interesting about what they are saying
- When they don’t know your age and act like you are too young
- When they don’t know your age and act like you are too old
- When they put you on their backup list
- When they are too macho and too cool to treat you like a lady
- When they don’t remember to put the toilet seat down
- When you are flirting with someone and they ruin it because they can’t even tell
- When they don’t wanna meet your friends
- When they are afraid to show you affection or to tell you they love you
- When they are acting cold with you around their friends not to show them that they like you
- When you wake up freezing and they have all the blanket
- When you get to the restaurant 10 minutes later and they haven’t even ordered water
- When they laugh or sigh judgmentally at your Netflix list
- When they call you “bro” or “sister” after you slept together
- When they tell you they have been with other people while you were dating
- When they call you “sweetie” the day you introduce them to your fam
- When they can’t look into your eyes
- When they can never tell what you’re gonna say
- When they introduce you as “my friend” every single time
- When they don’t even read the articles you recommended
- When they make bad puns about things you care about
- When they don’t even remember their promises to you
- When they are just trying to be polite because they have no imagination on how to make a good conversation
When she left the house, she only had in mind one drink and no expectations. She would go to bed early that night and nothing would change in her life. Little did she knew that wasn’t the case…
She was sitting at the bar thinking what to drink when he told her not to worry, he knows exactly what she needs. “Wait a minute”, she said, “you don’t even know what I don’t like”. “Tell me, then”, he said. It almost sounded silly when she said it out loud, but he didn’t seem to care, that wouldn’t change his mind anyway.
He got it right. “He’s good”, she told herself.
A couple hours later, while contemplating if it was the right time for her to go home or if she should stay a little bit longer… he kissed her. His hands found their way through her loose hair, grabbed her neck with a confident force and pulled her lips on top of his with no shame. Yet, that kiss was magical! One of those that hypnotizes one to lose track of time, space and own body.
When she woke up in the morning she looked at him sleeping next to her and wrote him a letter:
Dear Mr. B,
Thank you for tonight. You made me feel nervous and anxious, but also admired and spoiled. The whole setting was romantic and sexy. Those dim lights on the tall walls, the classical music in the background and those lovers in the back, topped with some aphrodisiac in my drinks and the way you looked into my eyes. Oh, man…
I had no expectations when I came to see you, but you managed to create some and exceed them before I even asked. You look sweet and you seem kind, honest and polite. Maybe too much. I know we just met, but I feel comfortable and safe with you. Which is dangerous now, because you are going to travel around the world, learn how to play guitar, make some art and become a better version of you. In a few years, you are going to be exactly the man I foresee in you, and the man I would definitely love right now because that is who I want. Not the boy you are now.
Bummer, you just said something in your sleep and for a second I was afraid you gonna wake up and I wouldn’t know what to do or say to you. On the other hand, I kinda wished you would wake up and kiss me again. But you just turned on the other side just like a baby sleeping in his own bed. Lucky me…
I have no idea if I will see you again, nor how long will you remember me, but I am glad I met you. Yes, everything would have been different if I hadn’t had come to see you tonight, but it’s too late now. You had to kiss me, didn’t you? 🙂
I had an awesome time with you. Please don’t hesitate to call me. In 3 years.
She left before he woke up. He never tried to find her. They never forgot each other.
No matter how sunny is outside, how great is your mood and how determined you are to share your amazing views on the world…
… some days are full of texts, phone calls and emails that sound just like this:
- Sorry, you were wonderful, but we chose someone with more experience for our unpaid internship position. But I am sure you will find a job in no time with your skills and personality!
- Sorry, you need at least one-year experience in the field to be granted this visa in Australia!
- Sorry, we need a Danish speaker for our openings.
- Sorry, I have some bad news, my boss said he’s not interested in someone like you…
- Sorry, I can’t make it today, sweetie.
- Sorry, I am not in town.
- Sorry, I can’t make it for your birthday…
But then you smoke something and develop a great ability to read between the lines, so everything you heard turns into:
- You have a wonderful personality and a great skillset that will take you to the right workplace!
- You can hang out and have fun in Denmark for at least one more year before moving down under.
- Hey, you just got another reason to keep taking those Danish classes!
- If he doesn’t want you, well then it’s his loss 😉
- He’s not coming? No worries mate, there is nobody who can enjoy your company more than you do. 😉
- Not in this town? Hopefully, he’s in some place you’ve never been and he’s gonna tell you all about you later.
- Not coming to your birthday… Well, this is a heartbreaking one, but hey, you can celebrate your birthday any other day of the year. I promise!
Some days the Universe is blocking all the ways for you to get where you want, but this is just to tell you that you need to change your path. So smile and say hello to new opportunities! 🙂
You plan everything. Every minute, every day, month and so you know what the whole year is gonna be about. Everything is carefully planned and nothing comes randomly in your life. Therefore, happiness is part of a very strict program which, if you haven’t learned, might cause you some trouble because, in every second, at every corner there she is, the mistress, the lady in red, or even the misses: Depression. Not having a clear schedule, and having too much time to think, has become her favorite setting and you are her favorite soul to embrace. So you need to have a nice place, speak a certain language, read inspirational quotes and modern personal development books and SHARE it with the world. However, it’s absolutely mandatory to look as natural and spontaneous as it can get in all the pictures.
That’s right. Nowadays, happiness has become a defined, clear portrait and a sum of boxes you need to check. It’s a program induced by the world we’re living in that we are self-learning. But this program cannot be sufficient if it’s not exposed. Once you check the house, the job, the partner and all the other accessories, you have to share it with your friends and the rest of the people you might not even know. Because if you say it out loud that you are happy, no one can take it away from you! And you better be the first at it. That will drive the others to follow you and you’ll feel good about yourself, you will have a feeling of belongingness.
After you understand and accept your belonging in the world, there comes the chase. For “quality time”. This is the mother buzzword for the contemporary coinage in communication. So there you are, at your #perfect #workplace, at the #gym #afterwork, having #dinnerWithFriends or with the #fam. We all know and see it, ‘cause you never miss a chance to share it with the most colourful shots. Everything is about quality: the evenings, the weekends, the scrambled eggs, the sun, that new dress, those details on grandma’s old chairs, the memories, nature, oh, them trees… Not to mention the vitally of the city you live in, the windows, the movement, the people, the smiles, the wind, oh the life! Happiness has to be about all of these elements and it’s shown in every photo, album, and social media account of yours. That’s right. What blows your mind in your notion of happiness and what translates for you into “quality time” is definitely on Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram. Forget that you have the same friends all over, them seeing your story three times will make you look even happier and they surely will look up to you.
You’d think they shouldn’t look nor react to it if they don’t like it. Plus, you know, deep down, that the world would be emptier without your inspirational content. This is how the model works. Happiness is a program you need to learn, follow and share. Otherwise, you will… what? What’s the other option? Being mysterious, private, with yourself, your physical scrapbooks, a pen and a diary, a few people around and hangouts with people you haven’t seen for ages just to replace a Netflix show with some reality where you get to react? What is that, you ask? That could be another way of living the same life in a different dimension where you don’t need to desperately be happy. You just are. 🙂
Have a great weekend ahead!
Post inspired after reading this Romanian piece of good newspaper.
You’re life sounds like a movie.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, well I wouldn’t be rich, but I would definitely get extra incentive to think I am being watched. 😀 No, it’s because of the stories I tell. When I was younger I used to make them up, not I just live them (guess I ran out of imagination). I know what you’re thinking, someone should be paying me, but not to worry, that day will come, my friend!
Most of the times I write about myself, but sometimes I describe other characters in a silly way meant to make people smile. That reminds me I should thank again to all my tinder dates who participated in my experiments just to entertain my readers. Well, also to get some – which didn’t really happened as expected… (sad face). There were some people who unfriended me, but hey, if you don’t get my humor, our friendship it’s doomed at my first joke anyway. Therefore, I hope today’s character won’t take it very personally. He actually asked me not to write about him, so I will make it again just about me.
He’s a guy I went on a date with recently. Well, actually there were three dates in one day. I know, right?!! Damn, I am kinda proud of this too. It’s been ages since I got to the second date. So, are you ready to read the script for the next Dafta movie?
It was a Wednesday, January night, almost as dark as this one, but with a less entertained me, so… as any unemployed, single slash hot and pretentious modern girl, I went on the App Store. That’s right. Tinder popped out yelling hard “You, quitter!”. Can’t lie to you, it made me think twice about my adventures there… but how can I go back? I said I won’t do it again – too much history repeating – every time the same shit: “You look hot, I wonder if you’re smart” and then he goes: “Of course my darling, I can be anything you want!”. Bah. Booooooring! next!
So, I didn’t reinstall or create a Tinder profile (for the 7th this time), but then I did remember a friend telling me about this other app which is really accurate and serious: Ok, Cupid! Let’s see what you got.
OkCupid is a dating app which uses “math to find you dates”. So just like other 1M “magic algorithms” that find people I will “actually like”. Haha, so funny. I thought I was the only girl creating a profile that night, but over one million people install it per week. There are 7.3M messages per day and I got 47 guys texting me in less than 24 hours with at least 2 lines of text – that means I contributed…Umm, just about x% to that achievement, Ok Cupid?
“Making the ineffable totally eff-able
When it comes down to it, there are 3 principles that make OkCupid the best dating site on Earth: our love of math, we’re always free, and everyone’s welcome.”
Math, freedom, and…welcomes? Doesn’t make any sense, but I love math. So, back to my experience. I was surfing and could see guys who were online, guys who recently joined or guys who were checking me out – which I don’t appreciate! I mean, I know they are doing it, I don’t need the confirmation of that, ok? (oh, look at that: I grew up!). Then you could just text everyone you want – the match thing is just for this cupid to remind you that this is all a game which you’re playing with real people. Sick! Oh, but the best part of this dating app is the matching percentage. After answering a bunch of questions about yourself, your future relationship and the rest of your ideal daily life, you can see who do you match with from 0 to 100%. I checked out all the guys and the maximum I got was a 78%, which I would say it’s ok for 3 pictures and checking some boxes. The algorithm is using the answers I checked for “him” because every question has the option of your answer but also what you would like your match to answer. In other words, you build your date/SO just like tomorrow’s office look.
I realize now that I developed an interest in exploring this kind of apps; think I should add it as a hobby in my CV? Don’t think I have room for that so I will just increase my level at UX 😉
So, while I was exploring the profiles of those I got high match percentages, guess what? Most of them were fat, ugly or Muslim. I mean seriously?!! What kind of questions did I answer and how come this “Match in the name of love” algorithm can’t tell I fall for hot-fit-agnostic ones? Oh, funny thing: I got a message from a guy I met on Tinder 2 years ago, emphasizing on our situation. Then we did some catch-up, and I have to say that I was a bit jealous when I heard that meanwhile he even had a relationship, broke up and got back on dating apps. Tsk, tsk. Made me wonder: what did I do the past 2 years?? Oh, yeah, that MSc thing, CBS, Australia and the whole contemplation on my life.
But hey, enough with the details, and let’s go back to my date. I liked his profile, don’t remember why, but I just got this feeling it’s a perfect written one and it had such great impact on me I had listened to this guy over and over again. First, when he suggested we should have a date on Skype. Second, when at the second date he made me listen to music so I would just read his lips, and last when I deleted my profile right after our third date – just like he implied I would do. Smart, right? Well, I only date smart guys – unless they are hot and funny. 😀 This guy was 70% perfect for me (according to OkCupid). Too bad I wasn’t (I couldn’t read his lips right when he said he wants to dance with me and I thought he was proposing. Ooopsie).
I was always concerned about my future. Well, I had to. Having a little brother to inspire and a very generous family to make them proud, helped a lot. It was 2 years before I went to high school when my father told me we should talk:
– Have you thought about which high school you wanna graduate from?
– Uhm…not really.
– Well, it is very important that you know what you want and start working for it. It won’t be easy to get accepted to a good school and you need to start thinking about your future.
– I think I wanna be a writer.
– A writer? That’s not gonna bring you wealth easily…but if you ask me, I think you should go for economics. That’s the future of this country.
Four years later, I was half way done with the Economical College (high-school), when my father asked me again about my future. I could not see myself doing Debits and Credits for the rest of my life so I told him I wanna become a journalist.
– Are you sure? You could have a pretty good salary working in a bank and you are good at it.
– No, dad, is just not me. I wanna study Communication Sciences and I wanna go live in the biggest city in Romania (Bucharest).
– Well, you can study Journalism, but I would suggest a closer city (Cluj-Napoca). It’s for the best…
Five years later I got all my family coming down to the second biggest city in Romania to celebrate my Bachelor Degree in Journalism.
I got my first job after high-school and I basically support myself ever since. Not because I didn’t get money from my parents, but because I wanted to be a strong independent woman. I never wanted to disappoint them, but in order to make some decisions of my own, I had to prove I am responsible enough. And guess what? 🙂
I always wanted to study abroad, so after 5 years of my education in Romania, I started another round of studies.
Although a million things have changed since I was a little girl, my father still asks me about my future every time we talk. Last week I told him I plan to become a Senator in Romania. Not that I have any idea how am I gonna do it, but at least I know it makes him happy.