Date Someone Who Will Break Your Heart

You should date someone who treats you like shit and eventually makes you feel the shittiest you’ve ever been.

 

 No, I am not sarcastic. We are all scared. Scared of being rejected, scared of being lied to, cheated on and hurt in ways we could only imagine. Mostly because we’ve seen it in the movies or on our friends who have experienced some shitty “situationships”.

 

If you know me a little bit, you know that my heart was broken. Plenty of times. The first time it happened it was because of my first sweetheart boyfriend. And although it was just a short and cute relationship, the way he forgot about me one night and the rest of that summer still haunts me. I promised myself I will never ever wait for a guy to text me or come back to me after that one. Of course, that promise was broken way too many times, but hey, aren’t we here to learn from our mistakes? I met that boy again four months later and I told him I missed him and been thinking about him. You know what he said?

 

–  And now you’re telling me? Why didn’t you say anything few months ago? I have a girlfriend now.
This is the reason why I don’t wait for guys to text me anymore. Well, I still do, but not for months. Because now I know that if they don’t text it probably means they have a new girl friend on the radar. Trust me, I’ve been testing this theory way too many times.

 

The second guy who broke my heart was… strategic. He put me up so high on a pedestal I felt I can rule the world. For a short while. Then he just let me there to deal with all that. I had no idea what to do but fall. And boy, that hurt as fuck! Six years later he apologized for the ghosting and admitted he was an idiot, but also the fact that I was out of his league and a bit too much for his waters. Fair enough.

 

The third one, and hopefully the last one, broke every single part of my heart in a million pieces. He made sure I felt like he doesn’t care about my needs, my wants, my ambitions, my thoughts because they were never good enough. All my friends and family hated the guts out of him. They still do. And even though deep down I knew he’s an asshole, I always wondered what did I do wrong. I questioned everything and hoped I would be someone else, something more… just to be enough for him to change and love me back. Oh boy, how I blamed myself for his issues and for him treating me like shit.

 

Not only that this guy would make me think he forgot about me every time I didn’t need it to, but he also pushed me so high on some peaks I’ve never been before. And even after climbing all the mountains I could reach for him, I discovered the oceans, learned how to sail, and went exploring lands I could never imagine. Yup, all because one stupid guy. But don’t follow my example. I just have weird taste in men.

 

Don’t worry, eventually, I got my shit together. One day it just didn’t hurt anymore. And ever since, not only that I fucking know how I want to be treated, but also how to deal and live with where I am left on. Make it a pedestal, a mountain peak, in the middle of the ocean or my own bed. I am there already! And I know how to get back. To myself. Always.

 

So date people who break your heart. It will let you know who you are, what you deserve and how to ask for what you want. Moreover, it will get you to meet people who will put back all the pieces of your heart. And when that is complete again, someone else will be attracted and destined to try to break it. Because that’s what people do. They break wholes and fill holes.

 

IMG_2045
When you have no idea what you caused in a girl’s head

 

Funny game, right?
🙂

Why Am I Not A Good Girl

If you’re a bad girl, send this article to a good girl. If you’re a good girl, you gonna keep reading.

My best friend just sent me an article that started like that. Was I offended? nah. I just forwarded it to all the good girls I know.

All my friends are good girls. Too good. Way too good for their men, bosses or friends! I don’t tell that to them often, but when I do is to make them feel empowered and to help their wilderness coming out. And the best part is that when it happens, guess who is the first they call? That’s right. I am that bitch!

Good girls please everyone. I just like to be pleased.

Good girls always work too much, too hard and still wondering if they did enough. I am just wondering.

Good girls always say they’re too good. That’s because they have girls like me sharing all our shit and they always feel better about themselves. They say yes to everything while I am limited to chocolate, challenges and good times!

The only time good girls don’t listen is when they cheat on their diet. After cheating on my diet every day, I realized I don’t even listen to myself!

Good girls always have excuses and they will excuse themselves from everything. My excuse is simple. I am just a bad girl. Maybe I should be a batgirl? Wonder who’d be my Batman? Sorry, my ADHD kicked in for a sec.

 

fixpink batgirl
fixBatgirl

 

Good girls stay out of any kind of conflict. I am a magnet for them. Just like I am for all the bad boys.

Good girls are waiting for prince charming. My prince charming is waiting for me.

Good girls sleep and dream about him right now. I am wide awake, dirty and, instead of taking a shower, I am writing this piece for you.

xoxo

FixBatgirl

PS: for more advice on how to be a bad girl, call my manager! oh, wait I don’t have one cuz nobody can manage me. 😆😈

PPS: I’ll add this to my #365givechallenge as the 52day of giving really important advice (and making you feel a bit better about yourself)

Ghost With Grace

I don’t love him anymore.

(us at some point of our relationships)

When you hear that voice, you know it’s gonna happen. Sooner or later, someone will have a broken heart and, even if you know it might be him, you can’t stop thinking about how shitty you gonna feel. If you are a needy, delusional and hopeless social person, you gonna stay and wait for it to hit you. If you know what you want, you gonna run and ghost the shit out of him. I know this sounds extreme but paradoxical, we should be grateful to our mental issues for the length of our relationships. It’s what they keep us together. Oh, my! This might the biggest secret of how Generation Z can have long-lasting relationships.

The end!

No, no, no! You don’t have any mental issues. You are a strong independent woman who knows herself from head to toes and makes all her decisions. If your family or the society hasn’t spoiled you enough, now it’s your time! Live alone, buy yourself little nice things, big sweet treats, travel, get drunk, forget about him, or at least treat him like he never stood a chance and move onto the next one. After all, the purpose is to know yourself, love yourself and then find the true love (which might be yourself too, but hey, a girl can dream).

Mental health issues have my respect, consideration, and dedication. However, I am here to talk about three side-effects of this society: ghosting, icing, and simmering.

Simmering is when you give someone just a few high hopes, then you tell them you want to see them again, but you are busy the next days so you reschedule later. This basically means:

I don’t want anything serious with you, but I would love to have you on my agenda when I need some fun, so we should just keep this at confortable distance.

(us when we (think we) know what we want

The icing is when you tell them you are not ready to be in a relationship now and you should just wait and see if later in time things will change. This is typical those who just got out of a relationship and still need time and experiences to feel good and awful about themselves while rejecting other people. Icing.

Ghosting is when you reject someone without any reason after having great texts or sex. Just because… oh my God, too many “what ifs”, too many options out there, too many responsibilities.

What we have today is a state of unclear relationships in which I give just enough not to feel alone, but I don’t have to do any of the things that make me responsible and accountable to you.

(Esther Perel)

Relationship and sex expert Esther Perel describes our dating these days as “hyper-connected-but-totally-disconnected“. We constantly checking/measuring/improving ourselves. We are self-centered, selfish, and in constant need of validation. The level of empathy has gone down. We are superficially texting, sexting, being in control of a pattern connected to our freedom.  All these small details in any kind of relationship are touching our confidence and self-esteem.

Love is basically the proof that the contest has ended; that we no longer need to compete because never before has love been such a referendum on our sense of self-worth.

(Esther Perel)

Just like Perel is encouraging us, I am trying to be nice to everyone, no matter how short our encounter is. I have no idea how important is for guys to be told they are not gonna be called or considered as a significant other, but I surely would like to know what is better to have a healthy relationship before it is…

too late

xoxo

me

PS: as part of my 365give challenge this is number 51 and it’s called giving a little piece of our fucked-up women brains who constantly wonder.