And now, don’t worry, I know what my therapist will say:
The greatest damage rejection causes is usually self-inflicted. Just when our self-esteem is hurting most, we go and damage it even further.
Rejection feels like physical pain and Paracetamol is the cure for it. I know. And I also know that Rejection lowers your IQ. Yes, temporarily, but since I get it a lot… just don’t be surprised I act stupid. 🙃☺️🤡💃🏻
Millennials. Individuals reaching adulthood around the turn of the 21st century. According to Howe and Strauss (1991), millennials are born between 1982 and 2004. Therefore, I and, most likely you too, are part of Generation Y or the Net Generation, the demographic cohort that directly follows Generation X.
Being the last generation born in the 20th century, we are also called the “Hookup Generation”, a name which, it turns out, doesn’t really pair with the studies results on how much sex we’re having these days. That’s right, our grandparents were having more sex than we do now. Researchers of the Archives of Sexual Behavior discovered that the prominence of online dating as millennials’ primary means of coupling is a likely factor in their dropping rates of sexual activity. Why you ask? Well, if you assumed that it’s so easy to get laid these days because of Tinder and Bumble apps, for most of the users having an average appearance it leaves them quite reluctant to continue the search. It’s a jungle out there, trust me. What used to work three years ago as an online strategy comes extremely outdated and overused today. You match because you are both on the same hotness level, you say hi and three hours later you meet – because you already have plans for the rest of the week and this is your only day off, thus you having time for such boring activity. Also, for most of the dating apps users, the best time of using it is on the toilet. I know, now you gonna imagine the other one sitting on that throne when texting you. I know. I am sorry, it was tough to accept for me as well.
However, researchers don’t see this a bad thing. Having less sex is correlated with the fact that this generation has become more picky about what constitutes consent and less accepting of pressured sex. “It’s probably a good thing… I think [taking it slowly] is going to lead to better first marriages”, said anthropologist Helen Fisher. Fisher also points that the aforementioned youngsters, also work harder (often unpaid) to pursue their career goals. And now you say “well, that makes so much sense!”. It does, doesn’t it? “It’s a highly motivated, ambitious generation,” Fisher said. “A lot of them are afraid that they’ll get into something they can’t get out of and they won’t be able to get back to their desk and keep studying.”
Harvard University spent 75 years researching the correlations for a long life, thus conducting the longest study on happiness. And you know what is the number one?
It’s not about how many friends or partners you have or don’t have. “A person only needs a few close relationships to be happy” (Waldinger, 2015). Now, dating is indeed more fluid than in the past. It looks different and feels different…but at the end of the day, creating a relationship that brings meaning to your own or someone’s life is all what dating is supposed to be about. Because that’s what life is about.
Enjoy dating! 🙂
PS: next time I am gonna write about how I made myself a girl-friend through a dating app. Stay tuned!
I’ve been mistaken for being Danish a few times, but no one ever guessed I am Romanian. Isn’t that weird? Well this is only from the looks, because I don’t speak any Danish and I kinda lost the East European accent. I’ve spent my second year in Denmark analyzing, testing, working, living and loving Danes. It was the hardest thing I did. Especially the loving part. At first I thought they are really weird and I am the ugly duckling here, but then an even weirder thing happened: I grew up. Not yet a swan, but getting closer. And one thing about swans is they learn how not to give a damn. 🙂
Now, I can defend most of the lazy Danes who don’t wanna get up their couches for an entire weekend and who rather listen to music instead of people, because I adopted myself few of their weird guilty pleasures. But then again, I don’t watch TV, I don’t kill anyone while biking (even though I don’t always have the patience to wait for the green light), I am not that proud of anything, I don’t fake it until I make it and I remember people the next day after a party, ‘cause I don’t ever black out!
But then again, I don’t call them back because I am also embarrassed and confused when I get compliments. I hate surprise visits as well, not because I need to go to the store and buy things to serve you, but because I am not in the mood for people as I used to be. I don’t have any problems talking about sex, but like Sam Smith, I am just not good at one night stands. I also don’t have any problems with self-irony and being laughed at – too bad there are so few people out there who can actually understand this…
I hate licorice! And in Denmark everyone likes it! I rather eat polenta each time someone takes a licorice candy (but I don’t). I never earned so much money and I only have a part-time job so I never complain about the salary. When it comes to work, I only complain of not having enough hours. Denmark is the country with the lowest legal number of working hours (37h/week) in the world and the highest number of paid holidays (5w/y).
So how Danish am I now? I’ve changed a few things about me and I am not stopping, but then again I was born in a different culture with principles and beliefs (please search for these ones in the dictionary if not familiar) and I don’t wanna forget that. Yes, I tried. Yes, I liked it while it lasted, but I need more time, more people and experiences to figure it out.
Not a swan yet. Therefore, don’t try to eat me when I am coming home.
If you want to read more true and funny things about Danish people, try in here. By a Danish guy 😉