Men think bad sex is when their partner is boring. Women describe “bad sex” when they experience emotional discomfort or, more often, physical pain.
We live in a world where little girls are told they are pretty and grow up believing that this is what their social value resides in. We also live in a culture that sees the man’s pleasure as a right and the woman’s pain as normal.
As a girl, the first thing you hear about losing your virginity is that it is painful and that is normal! Uhm… breaking news, peeps! That is not true if don’t want it to be! Create your own story and take control, baby! You can plan for the perfect first night and lose that status or chastity in the most beautiful way. You will always have high standards after that happens but is worth it. Trust me, been there, done that! 😉
To be a good looking girl may be a pain in the ass (also literally in some countries). Mostly because girls are subconsciously looking for other people to take pleasure in their looks as a reward. This is cultural and historical. Because they are raised to believe that what others think of them is more real than what they actually think of themselves. Taking pleasure in other people’s pleasure is not negative, as long as you don’t alter yourself.
Women offer pleasure in return for a high social status, for not being cheated on, for not knowing how to respect their bodies. I am extremely tired of games, plays and facades that people play in order to get a partner. When it comes to relationships, people say:
“Be less yourself! Only show them your good side.”
“Don’t show your true face until after the wedding!”
“You never tell them how you really feel.”
Oh. My. God. This is tiring. Annoying. Betraying. A waste of time and people. I do not accept to believe that deceiving someone just to get them to commit to you is anyhow respectful. I consider it a betrayal and a waste of time for both parties.
But how is this connected to bad sex, you ask?
People match professionally, financially, physically or/and unworldly. I believe this is also the right order. Sex can be good only if you learn it together and grow both in the same direction. Or if you simply match unearthly in bed – which is the best sex I am gonna tell you all about another time. Bad sex is when the transcendent one is missing completely and you don’t cry of pleasure, but of disgust with yourself. Bad sex is caused by one partner treating the other one as a human doll for fapping. When there is no emotional connection, no fantasy including both of you, the other one will feel used. And it’s especially the female part of the couple who will feel that. Here is an inspiring article about the female price of male’s pleasure.
Bad sex is when you’re both good looking, match the age, the social status, the humour, the interests, but there are no butterflies, no trembles or anyone smiling and humming. You know those mechanical moves and positions you’ve seen in porn? Well, that’s just accompanied masturbation. Not gonna call it bad sex when both parties just wanna fuck, but when one is having feelings and the other one doesn’t, the aftermath is just terrible. Days of overthinking, tons of stupid messages, endless frustrations and bad next move plans. That is another pain human female or male can feel after having bad sex.
Communication. Communication. Comm… oh, and no expectations, but just passion. Those are the keys. Develop a passion for love and there will not be any bad sex left because you gonna let your body in the hands of the one you love. And if you love truly and unconditionally, you won’t have time to think about expectations and disappointments because you gonna be too high in love and probably delusional. 😀 But then again, the match will be unworldly. ❤️