Is the Season to Be Rejected

After opening up about my current emotional level, my psychiatrist concluded:
“Oh, that’s sad!”
“Well, why do you think I am here (bitch)?! I asked her rhetorically and politely leaving the last word out.
The whole psychiatrist session lasted about fifteen minutes including the hello’s and “best of luck” wishes. She basically fired me by recommending I should see a therapist who can deal with my emotions.
Fair enough. Good thing I have lots of therapeutical friends who don’t charge as much as degree holders in this country.
“You need a boyfriend!” The psychiatrist added.
“No, I don’t! I kinda decided that like five minutes ago when we both agree I have issues. Like who wants an emotionally unstable person?”
“Ok. You’re not sick. You just live in Denmark.” That’s what my therapeutical friends told me.
Let’s recap why I need to tell my real therapist:
The last guy I dated ghosted the fuck out of me after our second date. And I actually liked him…
My roomie just wrote an official paper where it says I have to move out. And I thought he’s my bestie…
My former office crush completely ignored me the night we supposed to hook up. And hit on some other girl…
A bunch of Danish guys whom I spent the last New Years said there is no more room for me this year. And I thought we are friends…
I mean, seriously?! How much more one can take? Like is not enough that the sun goes down before five pm, that it’s fucking freezing and there is no snow in Copenhagen, or that I am not going home for Christmas, but everything else. Oh, man, I wish Santa Claus was real… I think some good presents will heal all these broken pieces of my heart.
rejected

And now, don’t worry, I know what my therapist will say:

The greatest damage rejection causes is usually self-inflicted. Just when our self-esteem is hurting most, we go and damage it even further.

Rejection feels like physical pain and Paracetamol is the cure for it. I know. And I also know that Rejection lowers your IQ. Yes, temporarily, but since I get it a lot… just don’t be surprised I act stupid. 🙃☺️🤡💃🏻

 

xoxo

Day 10: Giving 5 Years to Denmark

August 26th, 2012 marks the day I moved to Denmark. I remember when I left Romania I was wearing the same shorts I have today on. I know, I am thinking almost the same: damn, I am still as fit as five years ago 😀 That day I got a laptop as a present for starting a new cycle of studies and a new life basically. I arrived here with lots of courage

I arrived here with lots of courage, hope, and strong will. I didn’t know much about Denmark and it was for the best because I got to discover everything in the right way. I felt cold, lonely, heartbroken, unwanted, envied and ghosted way too many times. I also felt appreciated, loved, helped, admired, wanted and lucky as fuck.

If someone would have flashed my life from the past five years back then I would’ve run back as fast as possible. Oh, no! how could I have said yes to breaking up with my fiance, living with strangers, moving from one room to another for too many times, dating weird guys, falling for the worst, hoping for the best, getting depressions, panic attacks, anxiety, nightmares, deceptions, failures, a bunch of sorrys? 🤦🏻‍♀️But then again, I have learned how to live abroad, travel by myself, socialize, make good decisions, give more than receive, love when I wasn’t loved, who I (possibly) am and what I want to do in life. I had the greatest teachers whom I thank from all my heart. 🙌🏻

Today I was talking about how I love having crushes.  If you’ve met me in the past five years and let me tell you about any of my dating stories, you know my life was like a movie. I actually inspired a few people to travel into datingland and find their significant others. I know, right? 😀

Oh man, I can’t believe I’ve been here five years and I am still alive. Also, single and fabulous! 😎 not entirely sure about my mental health, but I am working on it. And I am home.

Today I am giving myself a good round of applause for not giving up, for surviving at my best and for still trying to accomplish many things 💪🏻

thank you denmark

Cheers! ❤️

ps: August 26th, 1920 is the day that women officially got the right to vote in the US. Today is Women’s Equality Day and, I imagine right in this moment tons of people all over the world celebrate it by debating strongly on feminism, women in business or marriage equality.  If you have interests in any of the subjects, plus more related to women, have a look at this list of books worth reading.